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Question
Posted by: Dad | 2011/07/20

Sex With dad in law

I had sex with my father in law and it was great I cannot stop thinking about him. He apologised and I apologised to him as well. It is only the two of us who knows about it and we both promised not to do it again. Why did i do it why did I do it why did i do it. I love my husband and committed to this marriage but WHY WHY WHY WHY how do i erase this memories how do i forget about this. How do i look at him and how do i look at my mom in law and move on. Will the devorce to my husband be a solution?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You don't mention when or how this happened, and what your age was at the time. If you were under-age, this was rape, whether or not he apologised and whether or not you enjoyed it. If it happened when you were an adult, then it is indeed difficult to understand why you might have done this. Either way, you need to see a counsellor / psychotherapst to work through understanding and getting over this. Don't allow yourself to be alone with your father-in-law again. Your counsellor can help you, after discussing the relevant details, to decide how best to cope with this and get beyond it, and what to say to your husband. You and the father-in-law cheated on his wife, and your husband, and both of you acted wrongly.
Divorcing your husband doesn't help, and is unfair to him. If you are indeed committed to this marriage, work with a counsellor on getting yourself sorted out, then work with a couples / marriage counsellor to sort out the marriage.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: L | 2011/07/21

You say :" I had sex with my father in law and it was great I cannot stop thinking about him" . ?? You have some serious problems going forward, especially since you cant stop thinking about him. Grow up, you are not ready for a committed relationship with your husband. Something like this will certaionly destroy the relationship between father and son, shame on you and even worse, shame on the dad!!

Reply to L
Posted by: ..... | 2011/07/20

so its true ukuthi abatswana bayafeba neh?

Reply to .....
Posted by: Gogo | 2011/07/20

Let it go life goes on, give your husband your punai and forget about y father in law

Reply to Gogo
Posted by: LEON | 2011/07/20

No i dont think so Motswana!!!!OMW

Reply to LEON
Posted by: Dad | 2011/07/20

I am black motswana married to a zulu man

Reply to Dad
Posted by: Tim | 2011/07/20

Are you indain Dad?

Reply to Tim
Posted by: Dad | 2011/07/20

We do not stay together we have our house in Jozi and they are in Durban we went for a family funeral my husband was also helping out at the funeraland he slept at a friends house next door the funeral. My mom inlaw was at the funeral my dad in law came back and found me watching tv after putting the children in the house to sleep. Then he joined me we watched tv together he was a bit typsy then yeah it happened I wish I could have said No I wish he did not have to toch me there I wish i went to the funeral too I wish I did not go to Durban. I am too scared to have sex with my husband thinking maybe he knows. We had a very good sex life. Why Me Why not him I know if it was him I was going to forgive him but I cannot forgive myself or the father

Reply to Dad
Posted by: ???? | 2011/07/20

sies - you must have been desperate

Reply to ????
Posted by: Caro | 2011/07/20

Go see a counselor. Do not end the marriage if you want to stay in it. It may be a secret you will have to carry to the grave to protect the innocent but you have to help yourself get over it as soon as possible and some counseling will help.
Others may post very judgemental comments, please dont allow them the break you down further. You realise that this was a mistake and with time a concientuous effort you will overcome it until it becomes just a distant, regrettable memory.
Best wishes.

Reply to Caro
Posted by: OMG | 2011/07/20

Oh my.........
but how come you sleep with him?
do you stay in the same house, cause if you do i suggest you find your own place with your hubby. and never ever do it again.
that should be your father

Reply to OMG
Posted by: LEON | 2011/07/20

eish!!no comment

Reply to LEON
Posted by: Leez | 2011/07/20

Eeeuww

Reply to Leez
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/20

You don't mention when or how this happened, and what your age was at the time. If you were under-age, this was rape, whether or not he apologised and whether or not you enjoyed it. If it happened when you were an adult, then it is indeed difficult to understand why you might have done this. Either way, you need to see a counsellor / psychotherapst to work through understanding and getting over this. Don't allow yourself to be alone with your father-in-law again. Your counsellor can help you, after discussing the relevant details, to decide how best to cope with this and get beyond it, and what to say to your husband. You and the father-in-law cheated on his wife, and your husband, and both of you acted wrongly.
Divorcing your husband doesn't help, and is unfair to him. If you are indeed committed to this marriage, work with a counsellor on getting yourself sorted out, then work with a couples / marriage counsellor to sort out the marriage.

Reply to cybershrink

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