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Question
Posted by: Hazel | 2010/03/23

Sex with a teenager

For my personal reasons i slept with a teenage boy, i am 42 years and married with kids. the problem is the boy is no blackmailing me to say he is going to tell my husband if we don''t do it again. i did not enjoy his sex and i don''t want anything to do with him please help, Nice guy please do not respond to this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Hazel,

You find yourself in a very precarious situation. You do not say the age of the teenage boy. The age of consent for sex in South Africa is 16. So if the boy is 16 and older you will not have a case of statutory rape to contend to but will need to address the affair you had with the young man and your marriage. If the teenage boy is younger than 16 you also have the legal concern of statory rape.

The problem is too complex to address here. I strongly recommend you consider seeing a social worker or psychologist in your area for indepth counsel and advice.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: H | 2010/03/29

Does he have any proof? if not, tell him to bugger off.

and just deny it if your husband does confront you.

Reply to H
Posted by: Woman | 2010/03/23

Hazel, in South Africa, the age of consent for all sexes is 16 (from 1 January 2008). Was the boy 16 or older when you had sex? If so, the only things his confession will give you, is a huge amount of embarrassment, and maybe a divorce. Certainly your kids will think you''re straight out of American Pie.

Maybe your hubby will forgive you. Only you can know. You do need counselling, you know. Women want men, not boys. You should have known that he wouldn''t do it for you. So I hope you did not seduce him, and that it was mutual experimentation that went wrong.

And the guys, if your 17 year old''s daughter throws herself at you, really, honestly, how many of you would you say no?

Reply to Woman
Posted by: advice | 2010/03/23

tell him that you have told your husband and he is looking for him high and low. then get someone, a guy to call threaten him. i can do it for you.

Reply to advice
Posted by: ANON | 2010/03/23

Hazel
Dont sweat beat him with his own game call him everyday and ask him to do for 4 round and see whether he can stand it , he will run away.

Reply to ANON
Posted by: Guy | 2010/03/23

I agree that biting her head off is not constructive, however it is really difficult to give Hazel advise considering that there is not much she can do in this situation except hope and pray this guy leaves her alone. She cant tell anyone about him because if she did it will have other consequences. All she can do is plead to this guy to leave her alone and not tell anyone what happened.

Reply to Guy
Posted by: Anon Guy | 2010/03/23

Guys i think you are being too harsh on Hazel. I am sure that she reaslised that she has made one of the biggest mistakes of her life. She needs advise, not people bitting her head off.

Reply to Anon Guy
Posted by: Guy | 2010/03/23

You have a huge problem. First, you cheated on your husband and that is wrong, however I will not judge you as you are adult enough to know right from wrong. Secondly, this boy is under the legal age, therefore you can be charged for statutory rape. This boy is blackmailing you because he know what you did was wrong on both accounts and you can be in big trouble. Either way, you are doomed because you dont have any legal leg to stand on and personally if your husband found out, you might be in for a divorce. You need to hope and pray that this boy does not go an blow the wistle on you. This is what happens when you cheat with a child.

Reply to Guy
Posted by: Nice Guy | 2010/03/23

Yes Yes 17 years you deserve to be in jail or hell, that is why you don''t want my advice, you are a disgrace to society, imagine if this was a man who did this he would have been called by all sorts of names. i wish your husband can find out and get rid of you

Reply to Nice Guy
Posted by: king | 2010/03/23

where did it happen &  was his dick not big or small . why did u not enjoying it. "  love is so good when u steeling it " 

Reply to king
Posted by: Woman | 2010/03/23

Hmmm.. why don''t you give him some of his own medicine. Have sex with him yes, but become emotionally clingy. He should be convinced if you pitch up to all his games, wait for him after school... and if he dumps you, well then you''re home free.

But reality is that the truth will always come back &  bite you in the behind. So if I were you, I''d rather go to the cops, and fess up. Because what he''s doing, is also wrong.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Hazel | 2010/03/23

He is 17, and again Nice guy i asked you nicely

Reply to Hazel
Posted by: Top Cat | 2010/03/23

You got aproblem how young is the boy

Reply to Top Cat
Posted by: Nice Guy | 2010/03/23

Just because you said it is for your personal reasons, i ll suggest give the boy what he wants until he can''t take it anymore, then you will be fine and i wonder why you said i must not respond.

Reply to Nice Guy
Posted by: anon | 2010/03/23

you could always cry rape if he is blackmailing you ...

Reply to anon
Posted by: anon | 2010/03/23

you were pretty dumb, you could be held for statutory rape if he under age of consent.

You get back the treatment you give out, you are a cheat, now you pay the price.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Anon Guy | 2010/03/23

Wow this is a difficult one. How old is the boy?

Reply to Anon Guy
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/03/23

Dear Hazel,

You find yourself in a very precarious situation. You do not say the age of the teenage boy. The age of consent for sex in South Africa is 16. So if the boy is 16 and older you will not have a case of statutory rape to contend to but will need to address the affair you had with the young man and your marriage. If the teenage boy is younger than 16 you also have the legal concern of statory rape.

The problem is too complex to address here. I strongly recommend you consider seeing a social worker or psychologist in your area for indepth counsel and advice.

Reply to Sexologist

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