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Question
Posted by: Spark | 2009/11/11

Sex Men and Me

HI, Please tell me how f*ck’ d up I am.

Went on a blind date with a guy from the internet 2 weeks ago. He is a Christian now but was a Satanist. We had a good time, that ended in sex. I really really liked him. Now I don’ t hear from him. Ok that is understandable, I wouldn’ t want to contact me either. Oh he was in court last week for pointing a firearm.
Last week we had a work function and I ended up kissing, just kissing a client passionately in front of some work colloquies. They seem ok with what happened because they didn’ t mention anything, and yes alcohol was involved. The client and I have communicated since then via sms. He was at my work on Monday and asked me out for dinner, he will phone me to make a date. Yesterday, Tuesday, I haven’ t heard from him or today. Now my mind is going mad because I think I might have said or done something wrong. He is about 5 times my size, but he has a heart of gold. He is 40 I am 43. We seemed to get on, but now that I don’ t hear from him I am doubting myself. I really like this guy, his weight doesn' t bug me, or am I so desperate that I don' t see this. Oh he is a good kisser, I didn' t want to stop kissing him.

What the hell is wrong with me? I like my own company, so why am I so desperate to have a partner in my life? Why do I fall for each guy I meet then a week later, because I don’ t hear from him, I write him off and my life still carries on, but I keep searching. I took all my profiles off the internet dating sites. Clean slate …  no more man hunting for me, until I get this overwhelming feeling again of being desperate to have a man in my life.

I just want to be normal and carry on with my life.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You at least seem to have identified part of the problem, and the issue you shoiuld take to a counsellor who can help you to explore this in detail and find useful answers why are you so desperate to get into relationships, and so impatient to leap into them instead of allowing them to develop more gradually ?
Expecting less, you might achieve more

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Rick | 2009/11/11

You have to take it a bit slower with men, if you jump into bed with every one you meet out of desperation you just loose respect for yourself and gain none with the men.

Unless its just sex you want and nothing else.

If you want to meet decent men and have a future with one of them, keep your pants on and your skirt down, go slow and get to know each other first properly without sex clouding your judgement.

Its not rocket science.

Regards
Rick

Reply to Rick
Posted by: Kelly | 2009/11/11

Yip you really do need help.
Normal people do not think like this esp. if thye' ve been burnt before. Hope you see someone who can help you overcome this.Good Luck

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: Spark | 2009/11/11

You know what really pisses me off about myself. I would meet a guy and immediatly I would think he is inlove with me and we would live happily ever after. I would start imagining the wedding, how we are going to be together, me him, my child and the pets. What we would be doing over weekends etc. It is a true faerie tale that I am getting sick off. It is driving me absolutely MAD! I don' t deserve doing this to myself. But then why do I do it over and over again? Why am i so STUPID!? What in me is making me do this?

Reply to Spark
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/11

You at least seem to have identified part of the problem, and the issue you shoiuld take to a counsellor who can help you to explore this in detail and find useful answers why are you so desperate to get into relationships, and so impatient to leap into them instead of allowing them to develop more gradually ?
Expecting less, you might achieve more

Reply to cybershrink

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