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Question
Posted by: Jj | 2008/10/06

sex life

i love my Gfnd so much but she doesnt like sex even different sex positions,except that she only want to have sex once on saturday& we must only do 2 rounds.i cant say she get tired during the week cas she is not working.i love her so mch so do my family bt that kind of sex life dnt do 4 me.i tlkd 2 her abt de situation but she' s not intrested..i rlly love her and i want to spend the rest of my life with her.
i broke up wt my Ex bcas i didnt love her that mch but she was extremly good when it comes to sex,we were doing it evry day& both we were much comfortable with every position but i didnt love her with all my heart...at times i get termted to for to my Ex for sex cas we were doing it evryday bt turn to think that i' l make her to disrespect my lover cas of low sex life...
how can i solve this problem with my girl cas we are stil young
on our mid 20' s but living that kind of sex life were we are suppouse to be bringing the house on fire so if we reach 38 is there gonna be sex in our relationship.
please advise me in this regard.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

As you are discovering, people have different sexual appetites and interests - some are more open to exploration, and this may be create anxiety for others. It may also be that there are problems she is experiencing which lower her interest (e.g. depression, side effects of medication including the contraceptive pill, relationship problems, traumatic sexual learning). The reason for her low interest needs to be understood first.

When it comes to discussing the differences in sexual needs (which is VERY common) I always encourage both partners to be willing to understand what it is like for the other partner and then come to some middle ground / a negotiated compromise. It would be unreasonable for her to expect you to operate like her - perhaps try to explain to her in non-sexual terms (e.g. If I say to you when you are thirsty/hungry that I can do without a cup of tea/chocolate cake/whatever therefore so should you, how would you feel? Sexual hunger is similar). This is not to say that you should always get your way either, but I imagine it would do the relationship some good if there were some element of flexibility.

There is no documented evidence ever of a man dying due to sexual frustration, so there is no compulsion to have an affair - that should never be an excuse. Try to address the problem first, and if you have no joy, then deal with that before trying to find sexual release elsewhere.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jj | 2008/10/06

Sorry,,that for your advise..
Jj,,U dnt get my story cs i spoke to her abt this bt it doesnt get Us nowere!
Scar,,doing it with my ex i' ll really enjoy it but the thing is i dont love her& i dont wanna be a player anymore,maybe ur doing it with your ex cas you still love him.
L,,thanks for your advise.
Housewife,,,Your the woman i want to spend my whole life with,your sex life is what a loving husband deserve.keep up the good sex..

my lady is the lucky lady ever to have a lover like me cas i do whatever she want...i truely love her& do the best to show her that but if doesnt tell me what make her to be that way then we will have to part ways.

Reply to Jj
Posted by: Housewife | 2008/10/06

Im a house wife and I give my husband the best I can.For 4 yrs I make sure the house is clean,food ready and all homeoworks are done before we go to bed,then I bath and go to bed naked,its a norm in my house.No underwear.We watch porn together just to spice up the mood every now and then.We do sex almost everyday.

My man works hard to provide for me and his kids,so the last thing I can do is to think of all the styles in the book and give him when he comes home.

Sometimes I would ask him to come back early so we would do it all over the house while the kids are at school.I love sex very much and fortunately my man feels the same.

Ur wife is not telling u the honest truth.

Reply to Housewife
Posted by: L | 2008/10/06

Leave her while u stil can. The question u should ask your self is why she always tired if u say she not working. Work up man she gets it during the day while u are at work. there is no such thing like having sex once a week and only two rounds.

Reply to L
Posted by: SCAR | 2008/10/06

Jj,i' v ben married with my husband whom i love so much for a year,we havent had sex for 6 months now i tried every trick in the book but gave up,its confusing,now im having sex with my ex which i feel guilty about everyday but my husband just doesnt like sex anymore and i was straving and couldnt wait any longer,try if it doesnt iprove follow what your heart tells you to do.

Reply to SCAR
Posted by: JJ | 2008/10/06

Hi JJ, maybe you should find out why you girlfriend doesnt want to have sex. there could be so many reasons. All you have to is ask her. Try no to embarass her &  be understanding &  reasonable then you might find a way for the bh of you to compromise &  reach an agreement of sorts so that you are both happy.

Reply to JJ
Posted by: Sorry | 2008/10/06

Im sorry to say this but ur relationship is not going anywhere.If she reacts this way now,when u marry her its gonna be worse.Get out or sort it out before its too late.

I know a few ppl that are now suffering because of this...some are even cheating.Some just suffer in silence.

Reply to Sorry

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