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Question
Posted by: Unsure | 2010-01-13

Sex it up again?

My husband and I have only been married for a short time, 4 months to be exact. But we’ ve been together for 5 years and have a beautiful 2 year old little girl. In the very very early stages of our relationship, we become sexually involved with each other. At only 3 months of being together, we moved in together. And the fun began. We had a very active sex life, and made love every single night. However, after a while it wore off, and every night become every second night. After the birth of our daughter, it got worse, I went through post-natal depression and was interested in anything or anyone for a long time after that.

My husband said that we need to spice things up again, but I wasn’ t interested. And now the tables have turned, and he’ s the one who’ s not interested in trying anything new. It’ s the same boring positions, over and over again. Its always every second night, either sex or I help him out if I’ m too tired. And it’ s always in our bedroom. There is no affection anymore, everytime I sit by him or hug him especially when I try and kiss him, he’ s not interested. He says that it irritates him.

Is it me that he’ s not interested in anymore, what can I do? I haven’ t changed, I’ ve cut my hair, but I’ m growing it again. And I still look after myself, make up every day, I always smell nice, legs shaved. What can I do to bring back the passion, the excitement, the unknown?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

There are many factors to consider. Relationships are built on trust ,respect and love .Sex is what follows from that . I can see you striving to please but not knowing what your husband REALLY wants and whether you are being used in the process .Your husband may be experiencing a decreased sexual desire disorder for which he should see a general practitioner/urologist to exclude any underlying medical conditions including cardiac disease, hypertension, diabetes mellitus, thyroid problems etc. psychological factors must also not be ignored. It seems your'l had to go through quite alot and the impact of this might be manifesting itself in the bedroom. Seeing a couples counsellor or psychologist will help greatly .

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Our users say:
Posted by: Wicky | 2010-01-13

I think unfort the time that you where sufffering from post-natal you happend to push your husband away from you.
My serious opinion is to take him, sit down and discuss what you need to do to make him interested again. His answer that he is not interested anymore is not an answer.
If need be even go for some therapy, Imago does wonders. there is no quick cure. Communicate communicate and communicate some more. He needs to tell you what will interest him again and you need to do it. Same goes for you, you need to tell him what turns you on, whats makes you happy and so on

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