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Question
Posted by: horsiechic | 2011/10/19

sex issue

Hello doc
I hope you can help me, i have a very small problem which is turning into a very big one.

about 8 years ago i was gang raped and thought i''d dealt with all the issues back then, i overcame my fear of sex and met an amazing man and we have since got married.

I have also got endometriois and the doctor has been changing my pill to try and find one that keeps me most comfortable, I''ve been on Triphasil, Nordette, Triodene, Yasmin, Trigestral and now back to Trphasil in the last 2 years.
During this time i''ve been experiencing pain when my husband and I have sex but its not unbearable.
A couple of months ago, we were having sex and a thrust a little hard which i wasn''t expecting I got a fright and burst into tears (cos it was sore as well)
Now I am absolutely terrified and steering away from sex all together. Also my entire body is sensitive to the touch - is this just hormones?
What do you recommend I do to get over the scared of sex thing?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

You are a true survivor and have done incredibly well to overcome your fear of sex. I wonder if you have come to enjoy sex, or simply not fear it. There are a number of things that could account for the discomfort - the pill you are on, or insufficient arousal. The pain you experienced on the vigorous thrust clearly upset you, but you don't need to be afraid of sex in general now...I would encourage you to speak to your husband about the importance of him being gentler in future, but you also need to work with him on the discomfort you have been experiencing. If arousal is the issue, you need to take your time to make sure that you are ready before beginning penetration in particular. The addition of a good lubricant could also assist. Returning to your previous therapist is not a bad idea, just don't stick to it ONLY being about the past rape - whilst of course this may play an important role, there could also be other more immediate factors like insuffiecient arousal and consequent tensing of the pelvic floor.

Best wishes
Claire - SASHA

For further information please consult SASHA's website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: horsiechic | 2011/10/20

Thanks for your kind words Nonni, i have booked another session with the therapist and when my doctor his back from his honeymoon will go see him... thanks for being nice tho, it helps when you feel like a total failure as a woman!

Reply to horsiechic
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011/10/20

You are a true survivor and have done incredibly well to overcome your fear of sex. I wonder if you have come to enjoy sex, or simply not fear it. There are a number of things that could account for the discomfort - the pill you are on, or insufficient arousal. The pain you experienced on the vigorous thrust clearly upset you, but you don't need to be afraid of sex in general now...I would encourage you to speak to your husband about the importance of him being gentler in future, but you also need to work with him on the discomfort you have been experiencing. If arousal is the issue, you need to take your time to make sure that you are ready before beginning penetration in particular. The addition of a good lubricant could also assist. Returning to your previous therapist is not a bad idea, just don't stick to it ONLY being about the past rape - whilst of course this may play an important role, there could also be other more immediate factors like insuffiecient arousal and consequent tensing of the pelvic floor.

Best wishes
Claire - SASHA

For further information please consult SASHA's website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

Reply to Sexologist
Posted by: Nonni | 2011/10/19

I am so sorry about the ordeal you must have gone through. No doubt, you would have done some therapy at the time to help you deal with everything.

Why dont you book a session with the same therapist and talk over what happened. I am wondering whether you dont maybe associate the hard thrust with what happened to you before on a subconscious level.

Your gynae can best advise on why your body is generally sensitive, and why you are experiencing pain. This does not sound right to me and I think you should address the with your doctor.

Reply to Nonni

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