Expert's Reply

A.

Sexologist

It is quite common that in the beginning of relationship women may have a greater interest in sex and possibly be less inhibited in sex than you would normally be. This is due to chemicals in the brain which are released in the beginning of a relationship - amongst other things they result in slightly higher testosterone levels in women which may account for higher sex drive. Unfortunately due to a cruel trick of nature these changes are temporary and after a while (between 6months - 4 years) your sex drive returns to a more 'normal level'. This is quite commonly described in couples so what you are describing in your relationship may be quite normal. What is important to know then is sexual desire in men and women is often different. Women may find pleasure/satisfaction in being intimate a loving without necesssarily feeling like penetrative intercourse at every encouter. This can be likened to an appetite for food. Just because your partner feel like a three course meal does not mean that you do. It is important is to focus enough time on pleasuring or foreplay before penetrative intercourse is attempted. Women take longer to respond and to become aroused than men do. Perhaps you need to look at your relationship generally. Are you spending enough time together and doing the things that you enjoy together as you used to? It would a good idea to discuss these issues in a non confrontational way with you husband. You need to be able to explain what feels good for you and how perhaps you both can work on your relationship. It may be necessary to seek the help of a health professional in your area. For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com.