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Question
Posted by: Thomas | 2011/07/22

Sex for the first time

Hi,

I''ve just had sex with my girlfriend for the first time today, but I couldn''t get really hard. Even when I got a semi-erection, I couldn''t maintain it for more than a couple of minutes, and of course I didn''t cum. We tried for like an hour and it didn''t work well, Following that she dumped me which was a total bummer too :(

I''m a 20 year-old straight guy. I had one other girlfriend before, but she wasn''t ready for having sex... you know, girls... so I ended up virgin till today basically...

Recently, I moved to LA from Toronto, and had a case of strong depression, as I don''t have any friends, and I''m kinda lonely around here now. I dunno, maybe it''s got something to do with it.

I feel totally bummed out following the " accident" . I masturbate every other day and usually get a pretty strong erection.
Is it normal for the first time? Should I visit a doctor?
What do you suggest?

Thanks for reading!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

The “performance” pressure to get it right the first time can be quite high and could very easily impact on having difficulty with erectile strength or the ability to make it last. Usually the confidence increase with experience. It is however very important to focus on not worrying about it too much as the more you stress the more likely your penis will give in to the pressure. Kegel exercises (google it) could also assist you to remain calm and gain control over your erections and ejaculations. Should you continue having difficulty with it you could benefit from seeking the assistance from either you medical practitioner of from a psychologist working with sexual concerns.
You are welcome to send us a mail to helpline.sasha@gmail.com should you require a referral to a medical doctor or psychologist (please indicate which professional) and in which area you stay and we will provide you with a professional as close as possible to you. Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011/07/22

The “performance” pressure to get it right the first time can be quite high and could very easily impact on having difficulty with erectile strength or the ability to make it last. Usually the confidence increase with experience. It is however very important to focus on not worrying about it too much as the more you stress the more likely your penis will give in to the pressure. Kegel exercises (google it) could also assist you to remain calm and gain control over your erections and ejaculations. Should you continue having difficulty with it you could benefit from seeking the assistance from either you medical practitioner of from a psychologist working with sexual concerns.
You are welcome to send us a mail to helpline.sasha@gmail.com should you require a referral to a medical doctor or psychologist (please indicate which professional) and in which area you stay and we will provide you with a professional as close as possible to you. Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru.

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