Our expert says:
From what you have described it is evident that you have quite a number of probable and possible themes impacting on your experience of your sexuality at present. Your loss of libido linked to having got married, your history of sexual abuse, your change in contraceptive useage, lack of sexual desire for your husband specifically, the possibility that your husband has not yet learned how best to stimulate you sexually, and your awareness of sexual arousal towards females in erotica.
The complexity is impossible to address in this forum. I would suggest you see an experienced sex therapist who could offer you the safe space to explore all these factors and help you develop insights into what is happening in your sexuality.
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