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Question
Posted by: Amelda Cloete | 2012-03-14

Sex drive and feelings completely gone for my partner

We got married about two years ago. Before then we would have sex about six times over a weekend. Now I can''t even stand looking at my partner or bare touching his skin without him having a t-shirt on. We are having relationship problems but my body just doesn''t want to have sex. It''s not just my head. I get freaked out when he wants to touch me or kiss me as he just doesn''t turn me on at all. I feel like I want to get a divorce as he''s started to become quite abusive also lately and doesn''t seem to even care what he says about me in front of people. He will smile at his friend but as soon as I walk in he''ll give me a stare and all smiles drop. I don''t know if I should just end the marriage as I honestly feel that I just don''t want to stay with him anymore.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

You have mentioned that you are having relationship problems and that your husband has become abusive recently. If your relationship is not good and you are feeling abused by your partner , it is very difficult to respond in a sexual way and to want to be intimate. It would be important to work through the relationship issues before tackling the sexual problems. It would be a good idea to have relationship/marriage counselling. For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: boomsie | 2012-03-20

thank you realist, good to be back.
and to those two who said i am a whore, they must go and check their dictionary what it means.
dont judge me guys....you dont know what hell i have been through! the pressure of a bad relationship is just not worth it, but if you and the person enjoy one thing,sex, and you can work your life and schedule around that, then i believe there is nothing wrong with it. by the way, since we officially split up, we are better friends than we were a couple.
we are actuallygood at it, plus the sx between us got better. we focus on that, but we dont " report to each other, or i dont slave for him anymore, i dont pay his bills any more, and i dont get abused anymore, i dont get falsely accused anymore, i get to eat my own varktjoppie caiing! no one verbally abusing me... i am free, and damm it i love it! no one will ever be my boss, and i dont care what people think anymore, i have won a battle, and am damm proud of myself, i dont even care if you dont care what i proclaim here! f u . i am happy thats all that matters....
ps, and it doesnt mean that if i dont love the person anymore, that i stopped loving his penis and what he does with it! that our business fool!

Reply to boomsie
Posted by: RawRandy | 2012-03-16

@realist ! suck my eggs

Reply to RawRandy
Posted by: Jesse | 2012-03-15

@ realist. dont be such a twat

Reply to Jesse
Posted by: sexologist | 2012-03-15

You have mentioned that you are having relationship problems and that your husband has become abusive recently. If your relationship is not good and you are feeling abused by your partner , it is very difficult to respond in a sexual way and to want to be intimate. It would be important to work through the relationship issues before tackling the sexual problems. It would be a good idea to have relationship/marriage counselling. For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: Realist | 2012-03-14

To Jesse and Raw Randy. Just grow up you cretins. Hi Boomsie, as usual you are quite correct. Nice seeing you back again and you enjoiy yourself ignoring the two twits who haven''t got half a brain between them . Amelda my dear, for whatever reason, if you are not happy do not ruin the rest of your life in a nowhere relationship. Good luck on whatever choice you make.

Reply to Realist
Posted by: RawRandy | 2012-03-14

Boomsie,yr a Whore,IF everybody took yr advice there be no ONE married todAY, FCUKIG YOUR EX?? Bitch !!

Reply to RawRandy
Posted by: -Me- | 2012-03-14

To Jesse, wonder who is the madcow around here. If you can not give good/positive imput please just keep quiet,

Reply to -Me-
Posted by: Jesse | 2012-03-14

Well no wonder he''s giving u the cold shoulder u idiot. U making him feel unwelcome. He''s probably banging prossies when u not around anyway. Stop wasting his time u madcowdisease!

Reply to Jesse
Posted by: Joe | 2012-03-14

Hi Amelda, you have not said what the real problem is that has made you have this dislike feeling.

Yes, it is the easy way to just walk out.....but why???
A man will get angry if he gets the feeling that he is not wanted.
I suggest seeing a marriage counselor.
Good luck.

Reply to Joe
Posted by: boomsie | 2012-03-14

get a divorce.

no use being in an unhappy relationship. time wasted where life is short and you could have had a greater time alone or with someone else.

i was in up nd down relationsship, always wanted to get married....but i just " woke up"  one day, and realised i dont want that, i want to be free, feel sexy for myself, can pleasure myself if the need is there, really, if youre not happy, girl, get out of there. sometimes we are better of without them.

no offence to the proclaimed happily married people out there.

" ps, i still have sexual relationship with my ex" we trust each other"  its just i didnt want the stress of someone being my boss. men like to be the " boss"  in relationships. thats bullshit, its your life, enjoy it!

Reply to boomsie

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