Our expert says:
It is a pity she does not want to test. It is easier to control both of you medically if you have the information. The safest way is ALWAYS to use condoms. Even if both of you are positive, you may not have the same strain HIV and re-infection can happen. I know of couples who have unprotected sex when their viral load is undetectable, but it can still be a risk. You can use "sex toys", but it may not give the satisfaction you want. Sharing these things can also have infection risks. Ask her to be brave and test and then request proper counselling for both of you. Being positive is not the end of the world and you can still have a full life and wonderful sex life with a few adjustments. Deidre - SASHA
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