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Question
Posted by: Sugar | 2010/03/11

sex after husbands death

I am 30 years old, widowed for a year and a half and I''ve recently met a very nice man. We''ve started getting physical by kissing and light touching. He wants to take it further, but I can''t. I feel so very much aroused by him, and I want to have sex with him, but it feels as if I have a mental block of some kind. I don''t know how to relax and enjoy it, because it feels strange and new. He doesn''t understand and thinks that I am not into him. Is this a sexual issue or a mental issue? How can I move forward with this guy, because I really want to.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What has become unfamiliar to us, even from simple disuse, may feel strange and new when one resmes or ties to resume it. Discuss this calmly with him, explaining that you feel very much aroused by him, but find difficulty relaxing and enjoying sexual activity at this stage. At least let him understand how this affects you, And maybe a few personal counselling sessions can help you clear this up. Sometimes, form instance, a widow or widower finds they feel guilty as though they are being unfaithful if they become sexually involved again, even after some years, and you can work through such concerns and free yourself to find enjoyment again, recognizing it as something you deserve and which is not at all unfaithful.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Lenna | 2010/03/12

You might be having a guilty conscious that you are cheating the hubby, but remember you need to move on. I had also been there  this is my second year after I lost my hubby. Try to relax and discuss with him, how you feeling he might be more supportive and understanding.

Reply to Lenna
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/11

What has become unfamiliar to us, even from simple disuse, may feel strange and new when one resmes or ties to resume it. Discuss this calmly with him, explaining that you feel very much aroused by him, but find difficulty relaxing and enjoying sexual activity at this stage. At least let him understand how this affects you, And maybe a few personal counselling sessions can help you clear this up. Sometimes, form instance, a widow or widower finds they feel guilty as though they are being unfaithful if they become sexually involved again, even after some years, and you can work through such concerns and free yourself to find enjoyment again, recognizing it as something you deserve and which is not at all unfaithful.

Reply to cybershrink

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