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Question
Posted by: Jason | 2011/04/15

Sex Addict

I am a 20 years old male, and I am addicted to mastubating. It helps me to not really worry about my loneliness. How do I deal with this addiction and make sure it does not affect other aspects of my life?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageAddictions expert

Thank you for your post

Steps to Overcome Masturbation Addiction
Note: There are no pills you should take or physical things you should do to your body to make yourself not masturbate. It would only work temporarily anyway since you need to change the way you think and feel instead.
1. The first step in overcoming a masturbation addiction is knowing the truth. First you need to know that sexual urges are not bad. You are not a bad person for feeling sexually aroused. The sexual feelings you have are a normal healthy part of your body and can bring so much happiness if used correctly. These strong urges are meant to bond you in a strong relationship with your spouse. If you act out alone it becomes addictive. However, even as a single person you can use this energy to do many good things in life and be confident you are in control.
2. Once you know the truth about these sexual urges you need to understand why you have been doing it in the first place. Is it because you are bored or lonely? Are you feeling emotional pains or lack of connection with others in healthy family or friend relationships? Or are you simply addicted because it’s exciting at first then depressing afterwards? Once you figure out the reasons you “why” you can work on the “how” to stop part. Note: If you are addicted because of emotional injuries or some type of trauma in your life then masturbation is only a symptom and not the root of your problem. In this case you would need professional therapy to deal with the roots while also working on the addiction.
3. Now that you know the “why” you are addicted part you can start overcoming. The two main ways of overcoming are changing your thoughts and having healthy activities in your life. As far as thoughts go, you never want to try and “control” them or just push them out as this only makes them stronger. The right way to do this is to just admit to yourself honestly what you are thinking and tempted with then change it with a better thought. For example: “Right now I am tempted to masturbate because I just looked at some porn however I know that masturbating makes me feel depressed. I know these sexual urges are not bad but they are good and I feel confident when I save them instead of masturbate.” This is just one example and there are literally thousands of ways you could change the way you are thinking in any situation. After about a month of practicing this it will become automatic.
4. You have a lot of sexual urges which is a very strong energy. This energy needs to be used in healthy non-addictive ways. So play a sport, go to the gym, hang out with friends and family or whatever else makes you feel good.
Important note: If you are also viewing porn when you masturbate then you are probably addicted to porn as well. You can’t stop masturbation if you are viewing porn. You need to stop both to have success.
If after trying these techniques you find you are still compulsively masturbating please contact us on 021 790 7779 for further help.
Love & Light The Harmony Team

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: Addictions expert | 2011/04/20

Thank you for your post

Steps to Overcome Masturbation Addiction
Note: There are no pills you should take or physical things you should do to your body to make yourself not masturbate. It would only work temporarily anyway since you need to change the way you think and feel instead.
1. The first step in overcoming a masturbation addiction is knowing the truth. First you need to know that sexual urges are not bad. You are not a bad person for feeling sexually aroused. The sexual feelings you have are a normal healthy part of your body and can bring so much happiness if used correctly. These strong urges are meant to bond you in a strong relationship with your spouse. If you act out alone it becomes addictive. However, even as a single person you can use this energy to do many good things in life and be confident you are in control.
2. Once you know the truth about these sexual urges you need to understand why you have been doing it in the first place. Is it because you are bored or lonely? Are you feeling emotional pains or lack of connection with others in healthy family or friend relationships? Or are you simply addicted because it’s exciting at first then depressing afterwards? Once you figure out the reasons you “why” you can work on the “how” to stop part. Note: If you are addicted because of emotional injuries or some type of trauma in your life then masturbation is only a symptom and not the root of your problem. In this case you would need professional therapy to deal with the roots while also working on the addiction.
3. Now that you know the “why” you are addicted part you can start overcoming. The two main ways of overcoming are changing your thoughts and having healthy activities in your life. As far as thoughts go, you never want to try and “control” them or just push them out as this only makes them stronger. The right way to do this is to just admit to yourself honestly what you are thinking and tempted with then change it with a better thought. For example: “Right now I am tempted to masturbate because I just looked at some porn however I know that masturbating makes me feel depressed. I know these sexual urges are not bad but they are good and I feel confident when I save them instead of masturbate.” This is just one example and there are literally thousands of ways you could change the way you are thinking in any situation. After about a month of practicing this it will become automatic.
4. You have a lot of sexual urges which is a very strong energy. This energy needs to be used in healthy non-addictive ways. So play a sport, go to the gym, hang out with friends and family or whatever else makes you feel good.
Important note: If you are also viewing porn when you masturbate then you are probably addicted to porn as well. You can’t stop masturbation if you are viewing porn. You need to stop both to have success.
If after trying these techniques you find you are still compulsively masturbating please contact us on 021 790 7779 for further help.
Love & Light The Harmony Team

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