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Question
Posted by: funkyheart | 2011/01/07

sex addict??

Im bipolar my hubby is an alcoholic. We have terrible fights but lately he is starting to call me very dirty disgusting names. Comparing me to my biological mother whom is a whore literally.

after a fight he wants to have sex with me. I have asked him how can he expect to call me all those names and then still sleep with me. his answer: he is entitled to have sex with his wife. i told him this is my body and mine to give not his to just take. so anyway later that night guess what he wants sex and said no and now he is not talking to me. he hurt me really deep as i have worked my whole life to prove to other people i am nothing like my bio mom. if he doesnt have sex every second day its an issue. i used to spice things up but after all this he has made me feel dirty and i just can briing myself to do all the nice things we enjoyed together, i acturally dont want him to touch me. i told him this but it makes no difference

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Nobody should be coerced or pushed into having sex, especially not with someone who insults and degrades them, or is aggressive about it. If he really believed all the horrible things he says, one would rather wonder why he would wan to have sex with you.
As for insulting you by comparing you to your biomom, I suspect he does that specifically because he knows it is terribly hurtful to you, not because he believes at all that it is true. In fights, people who know each other use as weapons the words they know will hurt most.
Is there any way you might talk him into joining you in marriage counselling, emphasizing that it would be for the benefit of both of you ?
One may need to make i clear that verbal or physical abuse is a deal-breaker, and destroys any wish to have sex with the person. And to reconsider whether it is wise to remain in such an abusive relationship.
If he is an alcoholic, this must be seriously treated, though, or nothing else will improve

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/08

Nobody should be coerced or pushed into having sex, especially not with someone who insults and degrades them, or is aggressive about it. If he really believed all the horrible things he says, one would rather wonder why he would wan to have sex with you.
As for insulting you by comparing you to your biomom, I suspect he does that specifically because he knows it is terribly hurtful to you, not because he believes at all that it is true. In fights, people who know each other use as weapons the words they know will hurt most.
Is there any way you might talk him into joining you in marriage counselling, emphasizing that it would be for the benefit of both of you ?
One may need to make i clear that verbal or physical abuse is a deal-breaker, and destroys any wish to have sex with the person. And to reconsider whether it is wise to remain in such an abusive relationship.
If he is an alcoholic, this must be seriously treated, though, or nothing else will improve

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: XXX | 2011/01/07

Sorry to hear this.You should never be forced into having sex,particularly by a drunkard.
No man (or woman) should verbally abuse their partner either.You need to go see a marriage counsellor together.
This does not sound like a man that you deserve.If he does not improve on this abuse I would think you should consider your options going forward.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Wow | 2011/01/07

Sorry to hear about your situation. I am a in a similiar situation. My girlfriend always abuses me verbally and it really hurts. The difference is she never wants to have sex with me.

Reply to Wow

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