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Question
Posted by: me | 2011/02/15

sex

hi please help me. i have a g/f she was sexually abused when she was little. The problem we have is that i always have to start the foreplay and i can feel that she isnt really in to it? bcoz she doesnt get wet. we always have to use ky jelly. But what i dont understand is when we watch a porno she gets soaking wet.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

This may seem confusing and the honest answer is that there are many possibilities here. I don't know whether her sexual abuse affects her sexual response; it can for some, but others manage to enjoy their sexuality despite childhood abuse.

If she is suffering as a result of her abuse, it may be that she is able to focus on the pornography (rather than herself) and is able to respond with arousal almost 'indirectly'. It may have nothing to do with the abuse and may be that she needs more time to become aroused. There are many options here and a more full assessment is required to respond accurately.

If you haven't already asked her why she thinks it is, then do so. If she has an understanding of it, then maybe she can shed some light on this for you. Ultimately, it looks like you are both still able to enjoy intimacy, which is good. One suggestion though - try a different lube as KY tends to get sticky...lubes like 'Sylk', 'Play' or 'Astroglide' are all good options....there are many more better than KY for sex.

Claire - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: oh no | 2011/02/16

dude your foreplay game is just lame...

Reply to oh no
Posted by: jim | 2011/02/15

Your foreplay need work - it can''t be very good.

Reply to jim
Posted by: Anon | 2011/02/15

Probably cause the guy in the porno got a bigger WILLY than you

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011/02/15

This may seem confusing and the honest answer is that there are many possibilities here. I don't know whether her sexual abuse affects her sexual response; it can for some, but others manage to enjoy their sexuality despite childhood abuse.

If she is suffering as a result of her abuse, it may be that she is able to focus on the pornography (rather than herself) and is able to respond with arousal almost 'indirectly'. It may have nothing to do with the abuse and may be that she needs more time to become aroused. There are many options here and a more full assessment is required to respond accurately.

If you haven't already asked her why she thinks it is, then do so. If she has an understanding of it, then maybe she can shed some light on this for you. Ultimately, it looks like you are both still able to enjoy intimacy, which is good. One suggestion though - try a different lube as KY tends to get sticky...lubes like 'Sylk', 'Play' or 'Astroglide' are all good options....there are many more better than KY for sex.

Claire - SASHA

Reply to Sexologist

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