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Question
Posted by: Desperate | 2010/06/06

Sex

My wife of 21 years has lkost her sex drive, she is happy to have quick sex now and then, she still has multiple orgasms each time, but forplay is basically out of the question, and sex comes maby 2 or 3 times a month. She says she doesnt care much for sex anymore, and definately no time for long forplay. We used to have an hour forplay, massaging,using toys, she used to masturbate for me and sex was so exciting, but now its like microwave sex, and I dont know what to do, I told her to ask her gynae, but she didnt. She says it just doesnt interest her anymore, and my high sex drive is probably what put her off, what to do. Even romance is gone, she isnt interested in me running her a nice bath,givind her a massage, or anything like that at all, I just dont understsnd as I used to light candles and bath and massage her, now she just blows them out and tells me she can bath herself, and doesnt want a massage or anything, if you want sex well hurry up you can have it. Is this normal for a 42 year old very healthy woman, her gynae said that she is in great shape, and he says that she still has a very healthy vagina, in great shape for more kids, not that we would start again as our kids are in varsity and almost finished school, so these are our years alone, and I thought would be our best sex years. ADVISE PLEASE

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Maybe she could be suffering from depression? It bothers me that she is not even inclined to romance and affection. For me this means that her sex drive is not the problem, rather there must be something underlying her lack of sex drive - most likely stress or depression. Ask her about depression and how she is feeling. If it is none of the above, the best option is to consult with a therapist for couples counselling.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2010/06/08

totally cheating on you, its so obvious...sorry dude, check out her email and sms, follow her....my wife is 44 and cant get enough of it all the time, funny thing with older women is that they dont seem so tight and full of it like younger women...just my experience.

Reply to anon
Posted by: sam | 2010/06/07

I have had exactly the same problem for the last 15 years. She will not discuss it, and says it is my problem.

She enjoys the sex when it happens - and always orgasms.

Just not interested if I suggest it. Totally not into any foreplay - just needs to do it when she gets aroused.

Reply to sam
Posted by: Homer | 2010/06/07

For sure she is nesting somewhere else,Sorry dude ???

Reply to Homer
Posted by: Del | 2010/06/07

Or she is no longer into you

Reply to Del
Posted by: zan | 2010/06/07

SHE IS SO CHEATING ON U DUDE

Reply to zan
Posted by: sexologist | 2010/06/07

Maybe she could be suffering from depression? It bothers me that she is not even inclined to romance and affection. For me this means that her sex drive is not the problem, rather there must be something underlying her lack of sex drive - most likely stress or depression. Ask her about depression and how she is feeling. If it is none of the above, the best option is to consult with a therapist for couples counselling.

Reply to sexologist

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