advertisement
Question
Posted by: Omie | 2010/01/19

Sex

My wife masturbate excessively during the nighht and I am afraid it is affecting her health. She does not sleep during nights and is tired in the morning when she gets up.I have tried to discuss this with her but she just gets upset and says that I am sex addicted. This behaviour has started about a year ago and she turned 60 last year. I am at a loss how to resolve this matter and trust that you can help. I have considered putting a sleeping tablet in her evening cup of tea but decided to first get advice from you.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Apologies for the delay in response.

Something confuses me: you think that she is masturbating every night, yet she says that YOU are sex addicted...does this mean that she is denying that she is in fact masturbating.

I am wondering who this is problematic for - she doesn't appear to be concerned (but this is not necessarily the case). In cases like this I would wonder whether either you are misunderstanding what is going on (i.e. are you 100% certain she is masturbating), or whether she is embarrasssed/to afraid to discuss what is going on for her (i.e. she is masturbating but is too emabarrassed to discuss this).

If she is masturbating, it is indeed not a common occurrence for women at this age - so I wondered whether she is possibly having a problem of sorts (e.g. persistent arousal disorder where she feels symptoms of arousal even when she is not being sexually stimulated and is masturbating in an attempt to relieve the feeling).

Given that she is refusing to discuss the matter, all that you can do is tell her that you see her being tired and that you think it is because of her being very disrupted at night - perhaps even talk about persistent sexual arousal disorder? She may feel less embarrassed if she is clear that you are not judging her...

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

7
Our users say:
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/01/25

Apologies for the delay in response.

Something confuses me: you think that she is masturbating every night, yet she says that YOU are sex addicted...does this mean that she is denying that she is in fact masturbating.

I am wondering who this is problematic for - she doesn't appear to be concerned (but this is not necessarily the case). In cases like this I would wonder whether either you are misunderstanding what is going on (i.e. are you 100% certain she is masturbating), or whether she is embarrasssed/to afraid to discuss what is going on for her (i.e. she is masturbating but is too emabarrassed to discuss this).

If she is masturbating, it is indeed not a common occurrence for women at this age - so I wondered whether she is possibly having a problem of sorts (e.g. persistent arousal disorder where she feels symptoms of arousal even when she is not being sexually stimulated and is masturbating in an attempt to relieve the feeling).

Given that she is refusing to discuss the matter, all that you can do is tell her that you see her being tired and that you think it is because of her being very disrupted at night - perhaps even talk about persistent sexual arousal disorder? She may feel less embarrassed if she is clear that you are not judging her...

Reply to Sexologist
Posted by: NunuT | 2010/01/21

Uyaganga wena, udlala ngathi!

Reply to NunuT
Posted by: ANON@ | 2010/01/20

Maybe u dont turn her on enuff

Reply to ANON@
Posted by: omie@vodamail.co.za | 2010/01/20

Leave her to be - easier said than done when this goes on every night all night and I am allowed maybe twice aweek!!! Sh eshows visible signs of tiredness otherwise she is fine

Reply to omie@vodamail.co.za
Posted by: Boon | 2010/01/20

so why you don' t have sex with her everyday.

Reply to Boon
Posted by: Woman | 2010/01/19

Excessive masturbation is sometimes a sign of depression. How is she otherwise?

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Realist | 2010/01/19

Gee guy, just leave her be and let her twiddle away to her hearts content. Why go and spoil it for her ? You may wish to ask her why she does not involve you in her activities either manually or if you are up to it (no pun) orally ? She should be more relaxed and sleep well after a session, why she is tired, I cannot answer that one.

Reply to Realist

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement