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Question
Posted by: Jack | 2008/10/20

Sex

Well me and my gf are both 16 and weve been together just over 2 months and i think its time to move on a bit if you know what I mean, however I dont really know how to talk about sex or how to start a conversation about it and weve never really talked about it before. it will be my first time and im ready for it and pretty sure she is can someone please help me and give me some advice on how to talk about these things and how i can actually start the conversation and if need be how i can persuade her (without any pressure) i also need some tips on the whole first time thing

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi Jack,

sex in relationship should just happen naturally when both people are ready, and if you feel yo need to persuade someone then you have to consider that they are not yet ready. Whilst 16 is the legal age of consent for sex, this does not mean that everyone is ready for sex at that age. A sexual relationship carries responsibilties and also emotional consequences that all too often are not thought about.

Rather than thinking about how to make it happen, I would advise you to continue to enjoy the relationship for where it is at and let things develop in their own time - that way it will be about both of you feeling ready, rather than you being ready and your gf feeling pressured - because having to persuade someone is in all honesty a form of pressure.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2008/11/12

2 months! is that it? 2 months is nothing!! Besides you so young and so is she. If you must get it on then wait please, it takes at least a year to know if you really right for eachother. I prefer if you waited till you were a lot older, but if you dont want to then at least wait just a bit longer.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: teenager | 2008/11/10

Dude! Put you chillies in your pants and concentrate on your future not becoming a father. Dumbass young kids!

Reply to teenager
Posted by: Rather Wait | 2008/10/22

From " He' s Just Not That Into You"  :

" [...] Try to know someone as best you can before you get naked with them." 

' Nuff said,
Hope it works out
Rather Wait (again...)

Reply to Rather Wait
Posted by: JR | 2008/10/22

Just my two cents worth. If you can' t talk about it openly with each other, then you are not ready. You really need to be able to talk about it, the sex, how each one of you feels about it, the contraception, what happens if she gets pregnant, it could happen.

She might not even want to have sex yet, or ever before getting married and then you are working yourself up for nothing.

You are young and will have pleanty of time to do all the grown up things. Relax and enjoy being young and having little responsibility. Once you start with adult things you must be prepared to handle it, and I mean all of it, should something happen.

If you really can' t talk about it to her, then let things ride it self out and see what happens. 2 months really is not that long yet!

Reply to JR
Posted by: Rather Wait | 2008/10/21

Okay...JUST STOP!

This might just be my opinion, but having sex so quickly is going to screw up everything. You claim you don' t want to pressure her, but after 2 months you want to have sex?!

Okay, I would say read Dating for Dummies (really!) it helps a lot. It says that with sex you are ' completely bare' , NOT JUST PHYSICALLY BUT EMOTIONALLY and that is the most important.

Sex is very physical, but both must be emotionally mature enough and sure enough the relationship will last. I know it feels like it will and you' ll be together forever but what if you' re not?

Think about it, and get the book, Google it or something

Rather wait

Reply to Rather Wait

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