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Question
Posted by: Griet | 2009-10-20

seun met probleme

Hi
My broer se seun Gr.6 het ' n paar probleme waarmee ons hulp soek. Hy is ' n kompulsiewe leuenaar, hy leer glad nie, hy handig nie take in nie en as hy so aangaan gaan hy sy graad druip. Hy is gek oor rekenaars en sal heeldag " games" '  speel soos Battlefield ens. As hy daarmee besig is kan hoor en sien om hom vergaan hy leef hom so daarin hy skakel heeltemal af. My broer het hom al gestraf en van die rekenaar en kuier by maats geblok, maar niks help nie.
Hy sien tans ' n sielkundige en volgens haar praat hy van ' n bully by die skool wat hom harde tyd gee. Hy het gister vir sy ma gelieg en gesê  die kind het gesê  hy gaan hom doodmaak, my broer was woedend en het skoolhoof toe gegaan en was gereed om " moord te pleeg"  toe dit uitkom dat hy gelieg het.
Hy het al geruime tyd leerprobleme en het selfs ' n bril gekry omdat daar geglo is dit is hoekom hy sukkel om te leer. Ek is nie elke dag saam in hulle huis om te kan sien hoe dit daar gaan nie, maar kan dalk net meld dat ek weet my skoonsuster baie maklik op die kinders skree as hulle haar kwaad maak.My broer het op ' n stadium erg gedrink en selfs handgemeen geraak met sy vrou, maar is ' n jaar terug bekeer en dit gaan baie goed tans op daardie gebied. Hulle het nog 2 kinders ' n ouer seun en ' n jonger dogter, wat hulle weinig probleme gee. My broer sê  nou almal skryf aan hom voor wat hy met die kind moet doen, moet hom nie slaan nie, en straf nie ens, maar hy glo dis hoekom die kind nou so handuitruk, want hy kom weg met alles. Watse raad het u?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Stop buying him computer games - he must earn them, and the right to play them, by not lying and by doing his school work satisfactorily. ( I wodner if there is some control code you parents could insert to control when he can or can't access them > )
However, that he can get so busy on the computer shows that he CAN concentrate and HAS intelligence, but he's not applying it to the stuff that really matters. Clearly, from your description, the family have had conflict and problems, which may have affected the kids differently.
Its good that he's seeing a psychologist, but she must be involved in helping you plan how to deal with these learning problems, too. Bullies can of course be problems, but it sounds as though he may be lying about that.
But above all, the boy should see a psychologist, and if he is already doing this, then she ought to be dealing very actively with all these problems, and advising the parents on how to deal with them.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009-10-20

Stop buying him computer games - he must earn them, and the right to play them, by not lying and by doing his school work satisfactorily. ( I wodner if there is some control code you parents could insert to control when he can or can't access them > )
However, that he can get so busy on the computer shows that he CAN concentrate and HAS intelligence, but he's not applying it to the stuff that really matters. Clearly, from your description, the family have had conflict and problems, which may have affected the kids differently.
Its good that he's seeing a psychologist, but she must be involved in helping you plan how to deal with these learning problems, too. Bullies can of course be problems, but it sounds as though he may be lying about that.
But above all, the boy should see a psychologist, and if he is already doing this, then she ought to be dealing very actively with all these problems, and advising the parents on how to deal with them.

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