Posted by: adivce | 2009-01-21

seriously confussed...

Known this guy for years, started messing around about five years ago. He moved, but comes to visit family and friends on a regular occassion - we mess around. There are feelings, from both sides, but that' s it. When it' s over, it' s over - til the next time. There has been talk of commiting, but we decided that It' s best not to... I believe it is because I' m a single parent. He hasn' t really given me an ' excuse' . I think we both scared to committ. We live seperate lives, both independent and love our space, but can' t seem to keep away from one another.

Seriously feel like his ' booty call' , but it' s not like that. Even when he is not here, we keep in contact - it' s the commitment thing.... I think??? What to do....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Seems to be an awful lot of "messing around". Sounds messy. Discuss the booty call concern with him. Nobody can sort it out except the pair of you. But don't expect any more than you have at present, maybe less in future

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bee | 2009-01-22

How do you know for sure he' s not in a relationship with someone else? Have you been to his place personally? And how old is this man? Perhaps he' s too young and just playing the field, keeping you stringing along.

Reply to Bee
Posted by: Shaz | 2009-01-22


You couldn' t have said it any better, SPOT ON!!!

Reply to Shaz
Posted by: Kelly | 2009-01-21

Booty call
Forget about him and move on, find someone who doesnt confuse you this much and is willing to make a commitment not just come around once every now and then , mess around and leave...
Won' t lead to anything at all but your heart being broken

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: Advice | 2009-01-21

To tell you the truth... we haven' t had sex.... messed around, but no sex.... either he stops it or I do....

Reply to Advice
Posted by: Picth | 2009-01-21

why do you feel the need to explain what he feels too, could it be that you are trying to convince yourself and deep inside you know that he is just a man who of course will like anyone who gives free sex and space....

He is not here try saying to yourself, what are the chances that i could be wrong, i maybe likibg him a little more....

Because the truth is you want to commit and he does not and you are trying to find something in you that want space...but that leaves you confused because you love him and you actually want more of him....

But you ca' t have that why, maybe because he just does not feel the same.

Reply to Picth
Posted by: advice | 2009-01-21

Don' t worry ' Me'  he' s not married, no kids or pets either. Everytime I see him, I go weak at the knees, my heart beats fast and I hit a blank. It' s like I waiting for something to happen. It' s the same vibe with him.

I know his family very well and he knows mine - we practically grew up together. We have mutual friends. The worst for me is that everyone knows we have a ' thing'  and evertime he visists, I get the ' ooohhhh, guess who is here'  thing and that is what bothers me as well... It' s like it is expected for us to get together, but nothing comes of it and we cannot understand what is holding us back....

Reply to advice
Posted by: ME | 2009-01-21

He probably married too and you dont know. Hope its not my husband. SOudns like it though.

Reply to ME
Posted by: scorpio | 2009-01-21

You are his friend with benefits... get out now. I was in the same sort of thing, and it totally screwed up my head. Until I met the guy Im seeing now... he wants committment &  I can see the difference between the 2. Good luck, I know its hard and will hurt like hell!!

Reply to scorpio

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