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Question
Posted by: Me | 2009-09-25

Sensitive me

i am a very nice person.and most of the time i find myself giving and not getting anything in return.i am not sayin i give coz i want something back,but u just want someone to show appreciation.i find myself havin to keep in touch with my old friends all the time when they dont care to do anything about that.doing things just so i can fit in or someone can atleast understand me.
so lately i havent been doing any of this because i am tired and i feel used.so i treat people the same they treat me.i am tired of being nice all the time and all they do is hurt me.maybe i am expecting too much from them.
so an old friend is in town.i havent seen her in 4 years.she came with her man(hes on a busines trip)so she told me she will be around 3.she didnt call at that time.so i called her.she didnt sound excited as she was the prev night when we were talking about seing me.so she said she will call me around 5 when she arrives,didnt call.6 i called her she said they just arrived.she will call me so i can come see her.im a bit far from where they are.so she never called till after8.my bf asked if she called i said no.he said i should call her i said no.she said she would call me.so i am not calling i called her ,if she dont have airtime she will send a call back.so i dont want it to be like im on her back ive been calling her during the day.i was telling him about other insidetnts that happened with friends i have or used to have.which is the reason i am feeling this way,so he went on and told how too sensitive i
am.why dont i just call her.i was hurt by this.which i still am.
am i really too sensitive?or hes just not trying to understand why i feel like this.
or maybe someone whos been on the same boat as me when it comes to friends will understand what i am feeling.
please advise
thank u

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There are generally more people keen to receive, thankfully or otherwise, than to give. That's how it is. Its probably not that you['re too sensitive, but maybe unrealisic in what you generally expect from other. Recognize that feeling disappoited so much and so often, is simply not useful for you. Expect much less, then when anyone does say thank you, let it be a pleasant surprise.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2009-09-25

I know how you feel. But maybe the doc is rite for us both. Your friend is an-|-who should have been honest or made some excuse and say she couldnt see you instead of making you hang for her.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: same same | 2009-09-25

i think i know how you feel. I have felt at some stage that people are not as eager about me as i am about them. I eventually learnt to treat them the way they treat me and I am happy.

Reply to same same
Posted by: anon | 2009-09-25

Also consider your own self esteem abit, i have been in a similar situation being totally used by people, you need to relook your social circle and get people in your life your more compatibile with and people who give as much as you give :)

Reply to anon
Posted by: Wise Owl | 2009-09-25

I would say that the CHOICE of friends is the problem. You seem to be attrracted to " users"  who simply don' t really care about you. May I suggest that you be more selective and don' t go overboard with your new friends until you have figured out what sort of people they are. Under the circumstances, I don' t think you are being sensitive and I would lose that " friend"  p d q. Good luck

Reply to Wise Owl

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