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Question
Posted by: mona | 2010/04/06

sense

am 28 yrs old. raised by a single mom. she never wanted to tell me who my dad is frm childhood. i got married in 2003. when pregnant in 2004, i sat down with my mom. told her i need to now know my dad as he is also a grand parent to the child i will have. she gave me a name &  surname and a few details of some guy and left. 3 days later as i was out to go on a journey to find the man. she called to say i mustn''t go. she is on her way to my house cause there is something she needs to tell me. she then told me that, that person she told me about is not my dad. when i then asked her who my dad is, she said she doesn''t know. she told me a story of how she " met"  my dad. she had no transport and this guy came a gave her a lift. they went to his house and obviously had sex before he dropped her off. he came to her work place 3 days later and they went to his place for sex again and he dropped her at work. 2 months later she realised she was preggies and walked to the guys house and he told her that he never wants to see he again. she says she doesn''t know this guys name and can''t remember his house anymore. i find this senseless ??? what is going on? Pls help... she ruled out the rape &  prosititution, which to me are the on y scenarios u cannot know a person''s name.... HELP Me figure this out PLS

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This must be very distressing for you. But some folks, maybe your mother among them, did and do leave a disorganized and unwise lifestyle hard for others of us to imagine or understand. One would, I grant you, expect her, even if the first part of her story is correct, to have at least paid attention to the guy's name and address once she knew she was pregnant, and to have explored at least getting maintenance support from him at that time. But to have become pregnant under the circumstances she described to you does not suggest a young woman with much wisdom and common sense at that time. Maybe she really did not, incredibly, remember or make note of his name and address ; maybe there are other reasons for her withholding from you a name and adress she might know. Only she can tell you. I suppose you have checked your birth certificate and birth registration to see if a father was named at that time ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/07

This must be very distressing for you. But some folks, maybe your mother among them, did and do leave a disorganized and unwise lifestyle hard for others of us to imagine or understand. One would, I grant you, expect her, even if the first part of her story is correct, to have at least paid attention to the guy's name and address once she knew she was pregnant, and to have explored at least getting maintenance support from him at that time. But to have become pregnant under the circumstances she described to you does not suggest a young woman with much wisdom and common sense at that time. Maybe she really did not, incredibly, remember or make note of his name and address ; maybe there are other reasons for her withholding from you a name and adress she might know. Only she can tell you. I suppose you have checked your birth certificate and birth registration to see if a father was named at that time ?

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