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Posted by: Single mom | 2010/12/22

Selfish or wat??

Hi Doc,

Im a single mom to a 2yr old en sometimes it jst get too much for me ill find myself crying myslef to sleep. dont get me wrong i dont regret having my baby and shes my life basically.bt now i feel like i need space for me jst me jst for a day or two.

I have my mom to help me out during the day while im at work en with her evenings,wkds. i cnt even go out with friends for drinks because always i need to rush home to pick her up..i know this are the challenges of being a parent bt somtims being a single mom takes a toll on me. i cant get a helper jst for me to to go out, i feel like im doing injustice to my daughter

Please help, what do i need to do - i feel like im being a bad parent. selfish and all.

and to all the sigle parents, i dont how you do it bt i take off my hat for you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Lets see what some of the experienced moms among ou readers will say, but I'm sure all parents of 2-year-olds get exhausted and frustrated. I wonder whether sometimes nowadays people under-estimate the sheer difficulty of being a single parent. One doesn't actually HAVE to "go out", but I understand that it feels frustrating when other friends can do as they please, and you can't. Can you perhaps get to know other single moms, and swop, so one night you go out and she cares for both children, and another night i's your turn to do the caring ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: single mom | 2010/12/22

Thank you ladies for your advises, really appreaciate it.

Reply to single mom
Posted by: Mel | 2010/12/22

I agree with Happiness........Anon wait till your baby is about 2. I am married with 2 children....Hubby helps a lot, but i feel i need a break from time to time. You are not a bad mother, but you do need " me time" . Talk to your mom about how you feel. Ask her to babysit for you once a month or so. Coz Single Mom, you need it and you must go out and socialise. And yes socialising doesn''t always mean drinking........
Best of luck to you and just hang in there.

Reply to Mel
Posted by: Happiness | 2010/12/22

Actually Anon is the one who needs attitude adjustment!

Every mother single or not needs a constant support system. We need to socialise with adults every now and then. Being around our kids all the time does drain us our energy and that has nothing to do with how much we love them.

Single mom, please don''t feel guilty for going out with friends. It will help you recharge your energy levels. Remember, when you are happy, your kids are also happy.

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: Single mom | 2010/12/22

Anon - going out not necessarily to get drunk bt jst to have break from everything else. i love my baby to bits.

Reply to Single mom
Posted by: glow | 2010/12/22

I am a single mom to a 1 year old. It''s not always easy, emotionally being a single parent. I luckily have a live in nanny, i do go out once a week or sometimes. cant your mom baby sit one night or sleep with her and you get time to yourself once in a while? don''t be too hard on yourself. I am sure you are doing your best, just give yourself a break once in a while. having a baby changes a lot of things. but she will grow and be more independent and things will get better. be strong gal...you are doing it

Reply to glow
Posted by: Anon for this | 2010/12/22

Im also a single mother of a 10 month old baby girl.
I dont see the need to go for drinks with my friends, my childs safty and well being s more important that my friends.
I sometimes visit my friends and family, But with my baby.
My life resolveds around my baby, friends and family knows that.
I think you need to adjust your aiititude.
Did u see in the news this week, an 1 years old baby drown cause the DRunk mother was sleeping.

Reply to Anon for this
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/22

Lets see what some of the experienced moms among ou readers will say, but I'm sure all parents of 2-year-olds get exhausted and frustrated. I wonder whether sometimes nowadays people under-estimate the sheer difficulty of being a single parent. One doesn't actually HAVE to "go out", but I understand that it feels frustrating when other friends can do as they please, and you can't. Can you perhaps get to know other single moms, and swop, so one night you go out and she cares for both children, and another night i's your turn to do the caring ?

Reply to cybershrink

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