Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-12

Self esteem question

Is it at all possible that a person who exudes confidence can actually lack low self-esteem? Is it possible that other people can influence them to such an extent that the person that they are will change (mannerisms, appearance, etc.), and their thoughts and views will change? Or is a lack of self-esteem simply the " down-in-the -dumps, I-feel-ugly"  as we all perceive it to be?

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Our expert says:
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Not only possible but frequently occurs. But in such cases the confidence is often shown as hollow cockines, and offends rather than convinces others.
Some therapeutic methods use something like this. There is evidence to show that when one acts and simulates a desired trait, like confidence, in a practical and genuine manner, gradually one's feelings / mood comes to match them. SO it can be useful to do this. And conversely, acting timidly may actually sap one's confidence.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Natasha | 2009-05-12

It' s often said that the people who display confidence have low self esteems. I suppose being confident and being centre of attention boosts their low self esteem. And yes, people can change other people COMPLETELY- my sister has always been one that changes herself to suit her friends, and unfortunately the girl who used to be a dilligent student, a hard worker and responsible adult is now getting fired from every job she has and is on drugs because of some stupid friend that she' d alienate her whole family for. You do get the people with low self esteem that displays it for the whole world to see. I suppose it depends on the person.

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