Our expert says:
As those of us with self-esteem problems usually try hard not to let others recognize this, it feels as though you are the only one on earth thus affected. Its difficult when you decide to let your feelings of self-esteem depend not on yourself and the good esteem you deserve in and of yourself, but when you make this a hostage to the decisions and opinions of other people, and often of really unworthy other people.
As for this guy, we all have our types, and fortunately are not turned on by everyone else ; and it's no reflection on you if you don't happen to match what he fancies as a lover - you apparently meet his criteria for a good friend, and that's at least as valuable and should be at least as affirming, as being someone's lover.
You want a splendid lover, and will probably find one some day - but you need good friends, and its good to know that he respects you and doesn't want to exploit you, either.
Consider seeing a CBT counsellor to work on developing a mo
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