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Question
Posted by: CM | 2009-07-10

Selective Memory

All of my life I had this " ability"  to just basicly suppress bad and hurtful memories. Then I forget it. So, I tend to never really work out my problems, just block it, and it is causing depression. I' ve went to several psychiatrists, which did not help much, because I can not remember anything and to be truthful, got really tired of " talking"  to my " inner child"  and writing letters to people who have hurt me. I really do think it is stupid and even with my depression and lately my total isolation from my friends and most people I dislike, I still feel like I am one of the strongest, most successful people you will ever meet. I can not for the life of me understand that suddenly I should be the one with the problem, where I am the one everybody else goes to when they have problems. Maybe I think more of myself than I do others and therefor do not want to admit that I too have problems. And I can live with that, right now, life is really great and I am doing well personally and in my career. I am just a little scared that this might bite me in the but in the future. Is there some home remedies I can try, you know, some mind set changes which will force me to deal with stuff and not just block it?

Thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Potentially a valuable skill, if one is selective as to the problems to which you apply it. House on fire ? Best not slide itno Denial, but deal witht he crisis. Still chewing over a dissppointment in love a year ago ? Best ignore it and move on.
When any shrink is so puerile and badly trained as to ask you to talk to your "Inner Child", tell him that it's time HIS Inner Child went out to play ; "Can I talk with your Outer Adult please ? All that Inner Child guff is quackery, devoid of evidence of it having any value whatever. Similarly, the Write a Letter to Someone who Hurt you --- is a gimmick, and nothing more. Write that therapist a leter saying "CHeerio!" Those who are obsessed with memories rather than current practicalities, are just wasting your time
This is why I promote CBT, Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, which is adult, sensible, practical, and it WORKS, as loads of good research has established. It would use the strengths you obviously have, and is very efective in Depression among other situations. And it teaches simple and sensible techniques for dealing with problems that arise that should stand you in good stead in tackling any problems that arise in the future.
So I'm sorry if you fell into the hands of clumsy and inept therapists.

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