Our expert says:
Hi Nelene, I must apologise but my written Afrikaans is poor so I will have to respond in English...
This is a common post-natal experience and may be due to several factors:
1. the hormones during breastfeeding, or the act of breastfeeding may dampen sexual interest
2. if you are suffering from post-natal depression, this will dampen your sexual interest and you need some medical support
3. tiredness / exhaustion due to sleep deprivation frequently knocks sex down the priority list as your priority is likely to be your baby & building your 'family'.
4. difficulty adjusting to being a mother and the idea of being sexual as a mother may turn some people off.
5. resentment that your role as mother has changed you completely and you may feel that your husband's life has remained largely the same (e.g. he can still go to gym or out with his friends, but you may feel too guilty to or feel unable to because of breastfeeding or fear of having someone else look after your baby)
6. You may feel that all you do is meet other people's demands - the baby, work, husband - not only could this reduce your libido as you are likely to feel drained, but also make it difficult for you to want to do anything about it because you just give, give, give...
7. if your baby shares your bedroom or bed, you may feel inhibited.
Unfortunately, unless you have a lower level of testosterone (which is not common and can be difficult to measure as women's testosterone is naturally low anyway) there is nothing pharmaceutical licensed to assist you. You need to identify the cause for your loss in sexual interest before you can do anything about it, once identified, it's likely you'll need your husband's support to make relevant changes that can move you closer to how you once were. This might include him sharing some of the load so that you know it's not all up to you (and that he is hearing your concerns), you taking some time for yourself to feel like an individual again, focusing on the couple relationship and not just the baby, and enhancing your sexual relationship however you can - use of lubricant, sex toys, or fantasy to turn you on - you might find that desire emerges when you become aroused.
Claire – SASHA
For further information please consult SASHA's website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to email@example.com
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
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