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Question
Posted by: Mommy | 2010/09/30

School Bullying

I have a 10 year old girl, bright, sensitive and a really sweet little girl. A couple of girls, under achievers, in her class have taken to constantly pick on her with nasty remarks and snide aside comments in class, all of which is having an adverse affect on her, as you can imagine.

How does she go about handling this situation in the most effective manner?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This is a sadly common situation, and any competent teacher ought to spot it and stop it promptly. But many seem to be insensitive and don't know how to impose simple discipline as it extends to not tormenting other kids.
Good suggestions all round, from other readers. DO have a word with the principal and the teacher, as they ought to be taking broad measures to discourage bullying. Also consider confidence boosting methods for your child, which might even include some martial arts classes.
And chat about it with your child, and brainstorm responses that she could try that might be helpful - including creative ways to ignore the bullies or to show that she finds them boring.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mommy | 2010/10/01

Thank you all so much for the excellent advice.I wrote a note to the teacher naming the culprits. The teacher responded by giving the whole class adressing down, stating that she knew who was responsible and she would be keeping an eye on them . She had obviously called the 2 culprits aside and dressed them down before the class lecture because afterwards the 2 came to my daughter and apologised. On the lighter side, my daughter said that when the teacher said she knew who they were, a number of kids were looking at completely different kids, so clearly others had been suffering at the hands of others and not only these 2. Thanks once again

Reply to Mommy
Posted by: Happiness | 2010/09/30

Easy, just go and tell those girls that you know where they live and mean it. This is what a friend of mine did last month, apparently the teacher didn''t believe her daughter''s complains. So she went and talked to those girls " woman to man" 

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: Lin | 2010/09/30

If it has already affected her, then make an appointment with the class teacher and principal. Together. Tell them that you want this handled asap and if they don''t do something about this, then you''ll have to organise a meeting with the childrens parents as well. Stop this in its tracks asap. The more nothing is done, the worse it will get.

Reply to Lin
Posted by: Maria | 2010/09/30

My daughter was bullied last year. If you google it you will find some good advice. What worked for her in the end was just to ignore, turn around and walk away. Bullies get bored if they don''t get a response from their victims. If she can pull it off she can cheekily say " At least I''m not stupid and nasty"  and then walk away. If it gets too bad her teacher should get involved but in my opinion it is better if the child can sort it out on her own. You can perhaps ask the teacher to have a general chat with the class about bullying. Woman''s suggestion is good too, it will build her self esteem and make her feel confident that she can look after herself.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Woman | 2010/09/30

Had the same problem, enrolled my kids in martial arts classes, guess what? Nobody picks on them, everybody is nice to them. And no, they didn''t turn into bullies themselves. Give your child the tools to deal with life. If she has the confidence to put bullies in their place, no bully will ever be able to hurt her in any way again.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/30

This is a sadly common situation, and any competent teacher ought to spot it and stop it promptly. But many seem to be insensitive and don't know how to impose simple discipline as it extends to not tormenting other kids.
Good suggestions all round, from other readers. DO have a word with the principal and the teacher, as they ought to be taking broad measures to discourage bullying. Also consider confidence boosting methods for your child, which might even include some martial arts classes.
And chat about it with your child, and brainstorm responses that she could try that might be helpful - including creative ways to ignore the bullies or to show that she finds them boring.

Reply to cybershrink

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