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Question
Posted by: Dad | 2013-01-04

School and Boarding Fees

Hi, Please can somebody advise or suggest a way forward. Thanks in advance.

My boy is now 12 years old and will be going to grade 8 at high school next year. I pay maintenance for my boy, but I have not seen him in over 3 years despite my best efforts. I stay about 180km away from my son in another town. I currently pay the school fees of about R700 a month, even when it was not specified in the maintenance order. The Ex wants my son to a go to a high school in nearby town (about 25km away from where they live) and also go to the boarding school. She is insisting that I pay for the all school fees and the boarding school (comes to about R4 000 plus a month).

I have a problem with this as nothing is discussed with myself (I am simply told) and feel my son can go to a school in the town where they live and does not need a boarding school. He can even come and stay with me and go to a school in the town that I live. If the Ex was going to pay half and discussed maturely with myself, then I could consider it. It is a huge increase in school fees not to mention all the other costs. The Ex cannot afford to pay anything towards school fees and is always struggling during the year. I do ad hoc help out (e.g sports tours and equipment etc) during the year.

I am not sure what to do. I do love my son and want the best for him, but I see significant unfair costs coming my way. I am sure that the Ex has other reasons for sending my boy to scholl in another town. I have been advised to ask for a meeting (Ex will refuse) to discuss alternatives, otherwise refuse to any additional school fees and the Ex can argue her case in a maintenance hearing or court before a magistrate. This assuming my boy even gets into the high school in another town.

What approach would the maintenance courts take in a such a situation ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: G-Dad | 2013-02-04

I have seen some cases where the parent tried to place kids in a boarding school without the other parent''s consent, the courts has changed the primary residence in some of those cases, some kids feel rejected and has absolutely no bond with their parents if growing up in a boarding school.

Reply to G-Dad
Posted by: GT | 2013-01-04

Good advise from above
Take her to the maintenance court and she will have to prove her cost of upbringing of your children etc
Do not pay any more than stipulated in the divorce. The ex is using you.
We all want the best for our children but many divorcees who has primary residence abuse there authority
You have the right to say no to boarding school and rquest your son to go to school near you, your son can come live with you if he request as he is at the age to decide.
Equal rights and responsibility

Reply to GT
Posted by: Anoni | 2013-01-04

I would fight for my child not to go to a bording schoold forstarters. If the mother does not want him " around"  because he is in her way for dating boyfriends etc then he should live with you. The courts will do what is fair. It is good advice given that you must not pay any additional withoug\t lawful agreement. If she refuse to talk nicely then she must take you to court. Do request to sit and discuss in writing to you can prove to court that you have tried but she refuses to talk and just demands. If there is a suitable school in both your towns then the need for boarding school is why.

Reply to Anoni

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