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Question
Posted by: Angy | 2011/02/12

Scared of doctors

Hi CS, or anyone actually, please give me some advice..

I''m an extremely shy person, I have just always been like this, first speech in primary school I froze on stage and ran off and never got back up again. I can''t talk to people over the phone, eating in public makes me feel uncomfortable and I never speak to waiters or store clerks, in fact it terrifies me whenever someone asks me if they can help me find something. My fiance just handles most things that requires communicating with others so it''s usually not a problem.

I have never had an issue with going to the doctor, my parents always took us to the emergency room, so I don''t think we technically have a gp, but 90% of the time we have seen the same doctor there which is probably why I don''t have a problem talking to her. She does her job very thoroughly which is also probably why I feel that I can trust her, but she can be extremely cold/blunt and I don''t think I have every seen her sympathize with a patient.

I think that I might have a serious medical problem now, I think I might have miscarried or something else is severely wrong with my reproductive system. But I can''t work up the courage to go to the doctor because I think she is going to be more than just unsympathetic towards me, she will probably chew me out and send me to see a gynecologist/want me examined, neither of which I can deal with. I have never been to a gynae, which is not right considering my age and the fact that I''m sexually active, and I know medical examinations are not meant to be invasive, but something like this will probably shock me into atleast a week of silence.

What can I do to relax about this and actually go? I don''t want to look back 20 years from now with no family knowing that I caused irreversible damage just because I could not speak up..

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I suspect that sometimes an early awful experience ( like yours in prinary school ) if badly handled by teachers etc. ( and they should never have required kids to speak from a stage without recognizing this possibility ) can help to create a much longer-lasting degree of social anxiety.
And what you're describing is a rather typical Social Anxiety Disorder. The good news is that it responds very well to treatment. Ideally, this should include CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) and perhaps also the use of some medications also used to treat depression.
It really could be cleared up. And a problem with these phobic-type troubls, is that the more you avoid such situations, the more fearful they become.
You will find that a shrink should be good at helping you to relax and enjoy talking to them. And an early focus could be to help you rapidly become comfortable enough to see a gynae to check out these other physical problems that are troubling you. It shouldn't take too long to help you feel comfortable and confident enough to see a gynae and have your worst worries set at rest ( you need to know exactly what is and is not going on, and how to deal with it physically and mentally ).
I think starting with a shtink, perhaps a psychologist, should help. And then you would have the freedom both to see a gynae if and when needed ( as well as any other doc ) and to feel free to get into other social and work situations you may have been avoiding, and enjoy then and excel in them

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/12

I suspect that sometimes an early awful experience ( like yours in prinary school ) if badly handled by teachers etc. ( and they should never have required kids to speak from a stage without recognizing this possibility ) can help to create a much longer-lasting degree of social anxiety.
And what you're describing is a rather typical Social Anxiety Disorder. The good news is that it responds very well to treatment. Ideally, this should include CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) and perhaps also the use of some medications also used to treat depression.
It really could be cleared up. And a problem with these phobic-type troubls, is that the more you avoid such situations, the more fearful they become.
You will find that a shrink should be good at helping you to relax and enjoy talking to them. And an early focus could be to help you rapidly become comfortable enough to see a gynae to check out these other physical problems that are troubling you. It shouldn't take too long to help you feel comfortable and confident enough to see a gynae and have your worst worries set at rest ( you need to know exactly what is and is not going on, and how to deal with it physically and mentally ).
I think starting with a shtink, perhaps a psychologist, should help. And then you would have the freedom both to see a gynae if and when needed ( as well as any other doc ) and to feel free to get into other social and work situations you may have been avoiding, and enjoy then and excel in them

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