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Question
Posted by: Bubbles | 2012-05-29

Scared of Death

It may sound silly…  I am a 25 year old woman who is petrified of death. I used to cry and cry to my mom when I was a child that I was scared and she used to explain to me over and over that it’ s part of life and it’ s nothing to be scared of, yet how many decades later I still freak out about it. I think the worst part for me is the fact that once you die, that’ s that. I am a Christian and I do take comfort in the fact that there will be good things to come after Judgment Day, but there is still that little niggley part of my head that imagines my spirit floating through the stars forever and ever, that’ s that.

I wonder how it feels to die. I wonder what those in car accidents feels, what they think. I wonder what people who drown, who die naturally, etc think before they go…  are they scared, do they know what’ s happening, do they pray…  it just freaks me out!!!! I wonder will I have a chance to say goodbye to my loved ones, will they get a chance to say goodbye to me? Will they be scared? Sad? Will they go calmly? I cry about it to this day.

I think about my family members that have died…  did they know it was going to happen, or did they spend their time up to the very last breath hoping they’ ve be saved? Where they just glad their family was with them? How on earth do people die peacefully knowing they are going to leave behind devastated people?!

What can I do to stop this?! No one knows I have these thoughts, I live like I’ m going to live forever, like nothing in the world can bother me, yet when I drive or read the news or lie awake at night it bothers me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well if you are a Christian and do believe in an afterlife, then death would not mean "that's that". Shouldn't you see a personal counsellor / psychotherapist to explore the basis for your excessive fears here, and to work on those issues ? And to the extent that these have major spiritual dimensions, shouldn't you also see a spiritual counsellor ( minister,, etc ) to seek to better understand those aspects of your concerns ?
There is no one certain answer to any of your questions - we die in various ways, maybe so suddenly, or unconscious from illness, so that we have no awareness of what's happening, for instance. And presumably what really matters is about what YOU feel about what might happen to YOU, rather than what other people may have experienced ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-05-31

Well if you are a Christian and do believe in an afterlife, then death would not mean "that's that". Shouldn't you see a personal counsellor / psychotherapist to explore the basis for your excessive fears here, and to work on those issues ? And to the extent that these have major spiritual dimensions, shouldn't you also see a spiritual counsellor ( minister,, etc ) to seek to better understand those aspects of your concerns ?
There is no one certain answer to any of your questions - we die in various ways, maybe so suddenly, or unconscious from illness, so that we have no awareness of what's happening, for instance. And presumably what really matters is about what YOU feel about what might happen to YOU, rather than what other people may have experienced ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Rosco | 2012-05-30

You remind me of the song " Why am i trying to live when i''m just living to die"  you should crush all this thoughts everytime they come up try to enjoy life.

Reply to Rosco
Posted by: Tanya | 2012-05-29

" Everything that is born must die" 
This is the very essence of life. Many people think they are afraid of death but in reality what they are really afraid of is HOW they are going to die.
You can only live your live with gusto, enjoy every minute, LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, love and be loved, be joyous.
I was with my Mom when she died 4 weeks ago, she was 89 years old and not in good health so it was a blessing to see her so peaceful. She lived her life to the fullest, was a wonderful woman and so we celebrated her life rather than her death - this is the way she wanted it. Live YOUR life so when you do die the people left behind can celebrate your life and not your death.

Reply to Tanya

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