Our expert says:
I understand your admirable intentions in wanting your child to do as well as posible in her life. Remember that the most efficient way of encouraging this is not through nagging as many people do, but by encouragement and praise for her achievements. Remember too, that it is important to accept any areas where she might not be outstanding, and not to let her feel bad about herself for not doing well in everything she touches --- kids who are really good at many things, often ignore all that they're ood at, and feel guilty and bad about the handful of areas where they may be ordinary. All of us are ordinary in some things !
Don't just "get strict" with her when she lapses a little, but energetic in helping her to feel good when she succeeds, without letting her feel that your love for her is only dependent on her school performance.
As for discussing your concerns with your husband, avoid criticizing him directly, and talk more about the positive aspects of why you are happy that you can both be so proud of your child, and how you want his help in encouraging her, with maybe some mention of your fears, in view of how many other children go astray, about harm if she is left to be over-influenced by the bad gids around.
As you have observed with your husband, people who are not shown love as children can find it very difficult, however much love they may feel for someone, to show that love. And his parents may have convinced him that what they did WAS the right way to show love for a child, so he may find alternative ideas puzling.
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