Posted by: Katie | 2009-03-30

Scared and Lonely

Please can someone give me their honest opinion on whether this is a reason for me to be concerned and tested?

I?m going out of my mind with worry and keep checking my body for HIV symptoms due what I believe my risky exposure.

I?m a 34 year old woman who lives in South Africa were HIV is not really discussed in great depth and status isn?t really discolsed.
The only thing we are ever told is that a condom must be used for vaginal or anal sex, but what about safe sex when it comes to kissing and fingering?

I did something really stupid the other night and now I?m living with the fear of being exposed.
Two nights ago I met a man in a night club who I didn?t know really well.
One thing led to another and I let him deep kiss me a couple of times and finger me ? there was no oral or penetrative sex involved.

1. Can HIV be transmitted through hard fingering and deep kissing?
2. I don?t know his HIV status, but is saliva a form of transmission?
3. Do you think I need to be tested?
4. What are my chances of contracting the disease this way?
5. Are there any documented cases of HIV be transmitted this way?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Hi I agree the information about safer sex given to people is really not enough to help them to make the correct choices.
to answer your questions in sequence
1.NO - unless blood is involved- either from a cut in the mouth or the finger
2.No Salive is NOT a means of transmission - except if it is mixed with blood- careful of the tooth brush before you go out to have sex.
3.Its always good to know your status ( you can stop worring then) but not because of this incident
5 None
look at the links hereunder for more information
you can always contact SASHA for more info-

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Katie | 2009-04-03

Hello Kems

Thank you for your post and reassurance.
I suppose if HIV was transmitted that way and it was a high risk, so many more people would be infected.
I need to learn to relax .... be safe and carry on with life.

Reply to Katie
Posted by: Kems | 2009-03-31

Point is you will just have to get your self tested, you are worrying about it so much that you are having symptoms that does not exist, worry and stress can do that to you ... point is do not be careless when you go out, these days people do not find it funny to go get tested together before starting a relationship, I know all my friends take their new g-friend to get tested before any intimacy happens, it is the norm these days ....

Reply to Kems
Posted by: Katie | 2009-03-31

As I' m sure most people don' t check their partners mouth or fingers for cuts or sores, how would you know if the virus has been transmitted this way or not?

I' m really starting to get worried as I' ve had a few worrying symptoms. Headaches, nausea, sore neck and pins and needles in my left fingers. Do you think these are a cause to be concerened? I know everyone says " go and get tested"  but it' s too early to go and have the test done.

I just wanted to know:
1) The say french kissing is safe, but is it a really low risk?
2) Fingering without cuts or visable sores - safe?
3) Do these sound like HIV symtoms?

Thank you

Reply to Katie
Posted by: Katie | 2009-03-31

Thank you Kems and Doc for the information and response.
I suppose we all live in fear of contracting HIV through our careless, one night mistakes.
On one of the websites it says:
Putting your fingers or fist in your partner' s vagina (finger -|- ing or fisting) is safe as long as you don' t have cuts or sores on your hands and your partner is not on her period.
1) How often does anyone check that your partner doesn' t have a sore or cut on his hands?
2) How would this transmit HIV if he did?
3) How would anyone know if their partner has a sore in their mouth or not. Is this a risky thing?

Thank you
3) Is french kissing safe? I didn' t use a toothbrush beforehand, so would that count as being safe?

Reply to Katie
Posted by: Kems | 2009-03-30

No you cannot get HIV from kissing, unless he have a sore in his mouth and you and yours ... by fingering you the only way for you to get HIV if he has it, is if he have a wound on his finger, or anything where his skin is broken .... get yourself tested anyway, it is better to be safe than sorry, I highly doubt you are infected, so stop stressing.

Reply to Kems

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