Posted by: mercy | 2011-07-21


Hi doc.
My boyfiend and i have been staying together for -+9 years and have 2 children together. We are not married. We have a join bond on the house which means we both are paying. Now things is not working out between us. We argue everyday about simple things even sex. We are both in our early 30s. Sex become a problem cos it seems like im always the one asking to have sex, then he is always tired. It is heartbroken and painful for me to be the one asking all the time. He told me to get someone else and move out of the house. I want to know what should i do in a situation like this, he bought most of the furniture. I love this man very much but im tired to be treated this way. Should i get a lawyer or what will happen.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

When communication becomes eroded, it is difficult to keep track of each others needs and wants and misunderstanding become more regular.
You could benefit from some couple counselling to try and reinstall a healthy way to communicate and take in consideration as well, that with time, people's needs change.
As far as the house is concerned, should you look a separating he cannot make you move out. It belongs to the both of you. Either you must sell it and split the profit or one has to buy the other one out. Whatever is in the house can be split according to what seems fair about who purchased what.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Thandi Zondo | 2011-08-01

Talk to him. He needs to decide what it is he wants. Whatever is frustrating him, he needs to deal with it and not take it out on you. because you love him - try and find him again- somewhere along the line -during ''The responsibilities'' you forgot why you are together - that you love each other and are good together. if he really wants you out of his life - Girl take care of yourself - You''ve been out of the market for 9 years - you could have found somebody who really wanted the forever after with you. Take care of yourself all the way.

Reply to Thandi Zondo
Posted by: Loli | 2011-07-25

Joined bond? Sell the house cause wa jola, he should be thinking of his kids and leave you with them. He MUST move out bloody ....NX!!

Reply to Loli
Posted by: lolly | 2011-07-25

U deserve better,why does he tell you to move out and get someone else,does he have someone on the side?
You need to look out for you,you need to be happy in this relationship or any relationship for that matter. Move on

Reply to lolly

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