Our expert says:
If your father is not particularly ill at present, you seem to be perhaps over-reacting to the idea of him dying some time in the indefinite future. It also sounds as though your mother-in-law has an unpleasant and harsh Christian fundamentalist viewpoint, which would surely make one feel sad. Especially if one chose to pay attention to her and believe her mean comments.
I don't know if you feel the 5HTP supplements ( which are chemically made, not herbal in origin ) have helped you at all, but I haven't seen convincing evidence that they are useful.
It would be worthwhile for you to see a psychologist, especially one who practices CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) which is especially efficient and helpful in learning to control such negative habits of thought and to become better able to handle the mean-spirited comments of others.
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