Our expert says:
I am struck by how many people paint themselves into a corner by declaring that they CAN'T do things which they can, but either don't or won't do. You can control your emotions, even if you might need a little help to do so. IF you are, as you might be, judging from yoru description, Depressed, this responds well to proper treatment, with meds and counselling, which should bring back that smile you miss. By the way you describe a major symptom of Depression which is often overlooked, which technically we call Anhedonia --- losing the capacity to enjoy whatever it is you usually enjoy. That, too, responds to the proper treatment. So, see a good local psychiatrist, or maybe a really good GP, and get assessed, diagnosed, and start treatment. And as Wendy says, avoid alcohol which only worsens depression
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