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Question
Posted by: s | 2009/11/23

sabotage relationships

I am so scared to get involved with someone because I dont want to get hurt. I cant just enjoy the moment and not worry about the consequences. I therefore sabotage relationships before they have begun. How do I change this way of thinking? I have had CBT and it hasnt helped me. Thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I am bothered when people say they had CBT and it didn't help yjrm. not because I believe that it will always help everyboduy ( nothing is THAT good !) ut that as it has gained such a deservedly good reputation, I suspect that many ordinary counsellors using old-fashioned and wishy-washy methods, are falsely claiming to be doing CBT when they are not doping so at all.
Now, if CBT is done properly, the therapist should have wqorked with you to set up clear goals needing to be achieved, and worked with you to assess each session how much you had achieved on the way to achieving those goals. So if it was done properly, unless you seriously misled the therapist, he would HAVE to know that it was not helping you, and would have needed to explore all other ways to help you. Why didn't he notice that you were not progressing ? And if he id, why didn't he help find other ways to solve the problems ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/23

I am bothered when people say they had CBT and it didn't help yjrm. not because I believe that it will always help everyboduy ( nothing is THAT good !) ut that as it has gained such a deservedly good reputation, I suspect that many ordinary counsellors using old-fashioned and wishy-washy methods, are falsely claiming to be doing CBT when they are not doping so at all.
Now, if CBT is done properly, the therapist should have wqorked with you to set up clear goals needing to be achieved, and worked with you to assess each session how much you had achieved on the way to achieving those goals. So if it was done properly, unless you seriously misled the therapist, he would HAVE to know that it was not helping you, and would have needed to explore all other ways to help you. Why didn't he notice that you were not progressing ? And if he id, why didn't he help find other ways to solve the problems ?

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