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Question
Posted by: Thando | 2010/07/28

Rude in-laws

I am married to a man who is controlled by his sisters and this is making it difficult when I tell him that it is wrong he normally says that I hate his sisters, I have decided to distance myself from them because when I am with them they talk funny things in front of their children for example you short thing or tell me that I am not a good step mother and I am trying to take care of my husbands kids really even if they dont like me because of them what do I do in order that they see that I am a sweet person. I know that if you are very sweet people would want to jump over your heard whenever I talk they just crash whatever they dont respect me and expect me to respect them am I right if I distance myself because I have realised that since I dont see they I live a happy life with my husband the other thing is that they demand money whenever my husband gets paid and yet they are married I dont care even if he gives them but they should ask from me its now a joint thing please assist they are breaking my heart whenever they come they would say the house is dirty even if the house if clean. Please assist

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So he gives his sisters far too much power to interfere in your relationship and to criticize you as they wish, without accepting that you may have good reasons to criticize them ? You don't have to please them ( and neither does he ) - you're not maried to them, and neither is he. And being a good stepmother is more than just pleasing the kids - it should be based on the same principles as being a bio-mother - providing love and discipline. When you feel you have to try too hard to make them like you, you spoil them, and they don't respect you anyway.
There's certainly no reason why his sisters should expect him to pay them, when they are married and could also earn a living themselves. This is nonsense. The whole set-up is unfair to you. You seem to be so busy trying to make others happy, and they don't seem to car about whether you're happy.
Marriage counselling is really needed, ( whether or not his sisters approve !)- otherwise the siuation is very unlikely to change

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/29

So he gives his sisters far too much power to interfere in your relationship and to criticize you as they wish, without accepting that you may have good reasons to criticize them ? You don't have to please them ( and neither does he ) - you're not maried to them, and neither is he. And being a good stepmother is more than just pleasing the kids - it should be based on the same principles as being a bio-mother - providing love and discipline. When you feel you have to try too hard to make them like you, you spoil them, and they don't respect you anyway.
There's certainly no reason why his sisters should expect him to pay them, when they are married and could also earn a living themselves. This is nonsense. The whole set-up is unfair to you. You seem to be so busy trying to make others happy, and they don't seem to car about whether you're happy.
Marriage counselling is really needed, ( whether or not his sisters approve !)- otherwise the siuation is very unlikely to change

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: ABC | 2010/07/28

One very long sentence...

Reply to ABC
Posted by: Happiness | 2010/07/28

Just ignore them galfriend, they''ll get tired and leave you alone. If your husband''s giving them money, its fine let him give them, and if you are working, just take care of your own money. Be nice to them and treat them with respect. And above all, pray ma sister, ask for God''s guidence and I promise you, He will see u through. I hade the same experience with ma step-daughter, she just decided that she''ll not accept me in her life, at first I didn''t understand coz I treat her with respect and I try by all means to be a mother figure to her. So I decided to be maself and continue being good to her. I ignored her nehavour, and I am telling u sana, she''s coming to her senses now and she''s trying to be nice and all. Pray sisi, God''s gonna help u.

Reply to Happiness

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