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Question
Posted by: HRHBeetjie | 2010-04-07

Rude Boss

I''m dreading going to work more and more every day. I love the work that I do but my boss (which is the CEO) is getting to me. He can be very rude and cusses when he doesn''t agree with what''s been done or the answer that was given to him. He has an incredible dominant personality. I am very organised and do a lot of research before starting on a project to ensure that I have the correct information. He on the other hand is very impulsive and sometimes expect work to be completed in an unrealistic short amount of time. He has a very short temper and actually gets more upset if I explain that there are certain procedures to be followed and documentation to be submitted.

I’ ve lost a lot of confidence in myself and in my abilities because he second-guess and belittles me a lot. I don’ t think finding another job is really the answer since there will also be someone that is difficult to get along with.

Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with him or at least “ grow a thick skin” ?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I guess where the unpleasant boss is CEO, its unlikely anyone else will be able to helpfully intervene to persuade him to change his behaviour. Frankly, some CEO's are spoilt brats, and need the help of Supernanny. Keep in mind at all times that you are competent and knowledgeable, and that it is not your fault when his impulsive demands cause problems. Don't lose confidence in yourself. Another job might well be an answer, as it's not inevitable that you'd be landed again with someone difficult to get along with. So do keep looking.
Meanwhile, maybe, remember my standard technique in choosing how to respond to rude and unpleasant people. Apart from scanning to see if there is any reasonable content within their growling, picture them as one of those frustrated dogs you might pass when walking down the street, who bark at you unpleasantly - and how you don't take offense at that barking - and that tose barks tell you more about the dog than they do about you

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: M | 2010-04-07

Do yourself a favour and get hold of a book called " The Emotionally Destructive Relationship"  by Leslie Vernick. It should give you some more insight into your boss.

Reply to M
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-04-07

I guess where the unpleasant boss is CEO, its unlikely anyone else will be able to helpfully intervene to persuade him to change his behaviour. Frankly, some CEO's are spoilt brats, and need the help of Supernanny. Keep in mind at all times that you are competent and knowledgeable, and that it is not your fault when his impulsive demands cause problems. Don't lose confidence in yourself. Another job might well be an answer, as it's not inevitable that you'd be landed again with someone difficult to get along with. So do keep looking.
Meanwhile, maybe, remember my standard technique in choosing how to respond to rude and unpleasant people. Apart from scanning to see if there is any reasonable content within their growling, picture them as one of those frustrated dogs you might pass when walking down the street, who bark at you unpleasantly - and how you don't take offense at that barking - and that tose barks tell you more about the dog than they do about you

Reply to cybershrink

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