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Question
Posted by: Star | 2008/06/13

Rude 16yr old

My 16 year old son called me a “ -|- ing bitch” this morning. I was so shocked I did not know what to say/do. I asked him what did u say?, and he replied – you heard me!

All because I asked him to return to the house and switch off the lights he left on. We were running late this morning, and so he was in a hurry and he left the lights on. I would not hear of it so I sent him to switch them off, I was already outside starting the car.

He has never called me names before, only that he hated me one time when he was angry. I do not know how to handle this situation, it’s a total shock to me I never expected something like this from him, I wouldnt even dream of calling my mother names like this, wow.
Please advise, im a single parent and theres no father figure in the house.

Thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Your request, of course, was entirely reasonable. But kids at times of anger can say very cruel things, maybe not even fully realizing how hurtful this will be. NNa is right. PHysical violence is not the answer ( and he's probably stronger than you already ). Talk about it with him tonight, calmly and firmly, and ask him to comment on what he did, and make it clear that such behaviour is unacceptable. YOu can, out of interest, ask what he thinks is an appropriate punishment, but punish by taking away privileges ; not too many or for too long, so as to keep this in proportion ( and to reserve more severe penalties for later offenses if they occur )

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Gentle Voice Of Reason (GVOR) | 2008/06/13

You will be doing some woman a favour by teaching him respect for women NOW. Because I tell you if a boy dont respect his Ma, he sure as hell wont respect women in period. If you allow this, he will treat his girlfriend,his wife, his daughters like that one day. It is simply unacceptable. He should be considerate and suportive of you since there is no male figure at home, thats what boys tend to do, they become protective of their mothers. Maybe the way that you speak to him is not exemplary, and therefore he is taking his que from you, if so, you need to give respect in order to get it, even if and especially if its a child, which he still is.

Reply to Gentle Voice Of Reason (GVOR)
Posted by: Lin | 2008/06/13

As punishment for being rude, take away something of value to him. Tell him he will lose this previlage for a specified time. Don not give in (do not give it back before the specified time's elapsed).

Reply to Lin
Posted by: Nna | 2008/06/13

By the way, i'm not advocating physical violence, as i've just read some of the posts.
Take away ALL his treasured privileges, i guess. He's old enough to know that it was wrong, beats me why he went ahead and said it ...

Reply to Nna
Posted by: Nna | 2008/06/13

Deal with it NOW!! Otherwise he'll know that he can get away with much worse. Make him regret the moment he even developed the thought!

Reply to Nna
Posted by: Gracie | 2008/06/13

He needs a damn good hiding, the little brat! You should slap him silly and then take away all his priviges until he has learned to respect you. There is no reason why a child should swear at his parents and it is just not okay for him to behave that way! On the other hand, there might be some underlying problems that need to be addressed - maybe get someone to have a talk with him to see what's up. Good luck!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: mom | 2008/06/13



he is not too old for a blady smack.

Reply to mom

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