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Question
Posted by: awesome | 2009/11/24

Retrencehd

Okay.hes been so cold and withdrawn since he told me they are letting him go at work.and I reassured him will be fine.but I don’ t know.he seems bored and not interested in what I say.even samllntalks.just taling about anyyhing.hes giving me a cold shoulder.now I just sent him an sms.hes telliun me.i don’ t understand how hges feeling.everything bores him.and do I even think how hes feeling rite now and what about now when he has to go back home?we agreed we going to move to a smaller place.now hes telling me about going home?im confused.
And I can imagine what hes going through and im trying to be there for him.or are we supposed to talk about the retrenchment everyday so he feels better?or just not talk?
Please help.we don’ t even know yet.maybe he might get a job .i don’ t know how to handle all this.i don’ t want us to fight all I want is to be there for him and with him.
And to someone who said why isn’ t he marrying me if he has so much money?not all of us want to get married or rush to it.we all make our choices and decisions.so the fact that he hasn’ t married me yet isn’ t the problem.problem is that hes going to loose his job.
Thank you guys for your advises

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

SOunds like he's been really badly affected, as indeed some people are, by retrenchment. Even if intellectually one understands that it might not be our fault at all, it can undermine one's whole sense of self-worth, and can even lead to Depression, which might be what is happening here.
As with trying to help other people experiencing something really nasty, the art lies in making it clear that you care about them and that you're willing to talk about whtever they feel they need to talk about, when and if they want to, and that you are content NOT to talk if they don't want to.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/24

SOunds like he's been really badly affected, as indeed some people are, by retrenchment. Even if intellectually one understands that it might not be our fault at all, it can undermine one's whole sense of self-worth, and can even lead to Depression, which might be what is happening here.
As with trying to help other people experiencing something really nasty, the art lies in making it clear that you care about them and that you're willing to talk about whtever they feel they need to talk about, when and if they want to, and that you are content NOT to talk if they don't want to.

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