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Question
Posted by: Depressed | 2008/07/31

RESTRAINING ORDER

My ex-boyfriend kicked our daughter and I out of his house so that his new girlfriend could move in. I was very angry and after 3 years I had to get used to being alone. Since the break up in February I have had to move twice to suit my financial situation. When he kicked me out I didnt even have a cent to buy food let alone petrol money. The first month I allowed my child to eat and whatever leftovers she had I would eat just to get something in. I was emotionally and physically depressed. He continued to sms me telling me that I was a whore and that nobody wanted me and that my family didnt like me etc. This put me in a depressive state and i started consulting a psychologists. It took me a long time to cope with what happened considering that we were supposed to be building a life together. He proposed 7 times (verbally and via sms). I had to deal with so many things and at the beginning of May I got into my car and just drove to my family in PE with my daughter. This gave me time to cope with the situation etc. I was on anti-depressants which helped me look at reality and I started making small changes in my life to the point where financially I was okay, not yet 100% but I can live. My attitude changed and I forgot about him, and accepted that he moved. I sent him and SMS telling him that I forgive him for everything that he did to me. This allowed me to be happy in my life. THen he saw me walking with my daughter and he stopped to talk to us etc. He told me that he wanted to be a part of the childs life and that he wanted to support her. Now it seems it was never about our child, because he comes to my office unannounced. I' ve asked the security to not let him through and they say they cannot as he works for the same company. He is once again emotionally abusing me, calling me, smsing me etc. I' ve asked him to leave me alone and he does for a couple of days and then he comes back. I want this all to stop. Can I get a restraining order on the basis that he is messing with my emotional state? I dont want to go through depression again as I need to be strong to be able to support my daughter and myself.

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Our expert says:
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See the Maintenance COurt and get a court order requiring him to pay maintenance for the child ; that's fair. But do not get involved again with an abuser like him.And also get a Restraining Order from the Court forbidding him from approaching or contacting or harassing you at all. If he works for the same company, discuss this with your boss and with HR --- he can be restrained from not approaching you at work, and keeping out of the office where you work.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lolo | 2008/07/31

hi

im sory about the bad things that are heppening to you right now, most of us have been there too, just go to your nearest faimy couty and apply for protection order, talke it serious and don' t forget to also apply for child support.

make sure you go there in the morning because yiu might wait long.

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