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Question
Posted by: Angie | 2011/09/01

RE:Step son@CS

Hi doc, I had a real nice talk with my step son and he really opend up to me. The Bio parents are going through a court case for the child to stay in one home, its nearing the time for the decision to be made. My step son says that he is scared that if the court says his father shouldl have custody, his mother and her family might hurt his dad, he says this because its happend before. He also mentioned that its very stressful by his mother and he feels that its a very normal environment by his father. He is just scared that if he is close to his father or if his mother had to be asked to do anything then he is scared she will shout him which he says that she does. He also said that if he had a choice, he would live with his bio mother just to save the peace. I think he is anxious with what could happen and i think he is very scared of his mother, her family and her are not very reasonable, sometimes violent ( know by experience)

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, its not easy to choose the best way to respond, but at least now, after your excellent discussion with the lad, you know what the problem is. It'd be a shame if the court asked him ( as they may, or may already have done ) that he may feel he has to choose to stay unhappilly with biomom, in order to protect his dad, losing the chance for a happier and more stable environment with dad and you.
But if there is, for instance, a real chance of violent responses from the mom's family, the father should arrange to tell the court, and to tell the court that the boy is scared of this, and maybe the court can issue an order that the boy should not only be with his dad, but that the mother and her family are not allowed to contact him or his dad or you in any unpleasant or hostile manner,

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/01

Well, its not easy to choose the best way to respond, but at least now, after your excellent discussion with the lad, you know what the problem is. It'd be a shame if the court asked him ( as they may, or may already have done ) that he may feel he has to choose to stay unhappilly with biomom, in order to protect his dad, losing the chance for a happier and more stable environment with dad and you.
But if there is, for instance, a real chance of violent responses from the mom's family, the father should arrange to tell the court, and to tell the court that the boy is scared of this, and maybe the court can issue an order that the boy should not only be with his dad, but that the mother and her family are not allowed to contact him or his dad or you in any unpleasant or hostile manner,

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