Posted by: Susan | 2012-11-19

Reply to Post 592 (angry woman)

@592 angry woman, I am a product of an affair &  I would like to give you an idea about how difficult and painful it is for a child born in this kind of circumstance. I was never accepted by my half-brother and sisters and their mother, but my paternal grandparents were very loving and accepting of me. My father never married my mother after he divorced his wife, he married someone else. I though at the time, we were all in the same boat coz our father left all of us. My mother met &  married someone else.
No matter what I do or say I just could not get through to my half-brother and sisters, so I decided to confront my eldest half-sister about her nasty attitude towards me and what she said to me shocked &  angered me &  I decided to cut them off my life completely. She accused my mother of being a whore who broke up her family and as soon as she realised that our father was not going to marry her, she simply moved on to the next man and they were left to pick up the pieces. Nothing she said made sense to me until a couple of years later.
I am in the process of getting a divorce from my husband. He has moved out of our home to stay with a 20 year old student, whom I believe is expecting is child. He has stopped paying for the bond &  other services, coz I cannot afford to pay for everything on my own, my kids and I are moving out to stay in my mother’ s 4 room house. We are moving from a house to stay in a garage coz my other siblings are still staying with her.
The point I am trying to make is, as adults we don’ t realize the trauma and pain we cause kids coz of own selfish reasons. I never understood the psychological impact kids go through when a family breaks up until now  they lose the security of a home &  it also impact on how they view relationships when they grow up. The biggest victim is not only (angry woman) child  it is also the wife and her kids. None of them asked to be put in this situation. My mother is either in denial or is too ashamed to admit that maybe her actions might have condemned me or maybe I am being punished for the sins of my parents as the Bible says. I love my mother, but she also never thought for a second about the innocent lives she contributed in destroying.
I have also learned through experience that, the other woman sees the wife as a reject who is not good enough and it helps her ego and self-esteem, to be the desired and wanted woman, but it never crosses her mind about the innocent lives that are broken and damaged for live in desire to follow her heart.
I wish angry woman good luck coz you are going to need it, what goes around comes around.

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Thanks for sharing your sad story and what you have so far learned from it. I hope you have been able to consult a good lawyer - explore the free law clinic at your nearest law school, for instance.

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