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Question
Posted by: The One Spoken Of | 2010/12/06

Reply Girlfriend and Relationship

It is so sad that only the " Bad" things are mentioned and not a word of good.The so called " ü ser" has been there everyday form the day of opertion making sure that he is taken care of from breakfast luch to dinner and this has been for the last 3 weeks. I did this beacuse that is what I wanted to do and do care for him even ignoring his bad moods.The were many evenings I left my daughter for a while at home to go and see that he is comfortable and sorted.The evenings of the week spoken of were 3 nights only of which the one was going to a prize giving of a cousin,chosen as headboy of his school,back at 9.30 which to him is too late and unacceptable and then does not answer his phone when I want to come over.The second " night out"  was to fetch biscuits made for him for Christmas at my sister -in law, back at 9 and the 3rd night went to a very good friends 50th asked him to go with for a while ,but was back by 8.I really try and include him in everthing but you cannot force one to go with.Re: the car (Prado),my car packed up,had to sell it and on his recommendation said Imust drive the " " HIs Car" " -he offered.The money owing,all I can say there is an acknowledgement of debt and in short he is the one that says it is not an issue -to much to explain,but it seems it is.The sex life ,well you cannot convince someone that they dont revolt you and it suprises me that it is said to be " non -existent" 
To me a relationship is to compromise and take in consideration the other person.Doc can you please tell me is this so wrong if you have friends or family and that it is regarded that you do not want to be with your partner if he does not have friends or a close relationship with his family to occasionaly see your friends or family because your partner does not like to go out.It is makes one sad &  hurt to sound like the taker and no good gets mentioned.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What he described, and apparently experienced, sounded like a guy being used. What you describe, and apparently experience, sounds like a woman being used and exploited.
This is what is sometimes called the Rashomon phenomenon, after a brilliant and famous Japanese film, in which 4 or 5 people who were involved in an incident, describe it from their own point of view - producing very different stories, based on what were clearly very different experiences. We may all be present at the same time and place, and may experience events completely differently. RThis is why communication is so important - not assuming that our own is the only point of view, but explaining how we see things and hearing how the other person does.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jenna | 2010/12/07

To ? not everyone feels the need to get married in a heart beat, some people would prefer to be life partners or whatever. And to ''The One Spoken Of'', I do feel that after 5 years your boyfriend should trust you a bit more and not moan about one week that you aren''t with him.

Reply to Jenna
Posted by: ? | 2010/12/06

Why are you not married? is this relationship going any where,neither of you are getting any younger.

Reply to ?
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/06

What he described, and apparently experienced, sounded like a guy being used. What you describe, and apparently experience, sounds like a woman being used and exploited.
This is what is sometimes called the Rashomon phenomenon, after a brilliant and famous Japanese film, in which 4 or 5 people who were involved in an incident, describe it from their own point of view - producing very different stories, based on what were clearly very different experiences. We may all be present at the same time and place, and may experience events completely differently. RThis is why communication is so important - not assuming that our own is the only point of view, but explaining how we see things and hearing how the other person does.

Reply to cybershrink

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