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Question
Posted by: Michelle | 2010/05/01

Relatioships

I am struggling to understand whether I am too sensitive or whether my partner is really as controlling and critical as I believe he is. I know I am overly sensitive but I believe in people treating each other with respect and get very irritated with his constant advice and explanations of how he thinks things should be done. Many other people feel that he does tend to harp on about things with them as well, but I am finding that my confidence is dropping tremendously -only really when I''m with him. At work I am a confident, successful woman. How do you I assess what is right and wrong? His answer to most things is: I am being fragile / too sensitive. It is really eating away at me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Either or both might be true. But i is not overly sensitive to expect people to treat each other with respect. The sort of over-controlling behaviour you describe usually stems from low self-esteem on hi side, and a need to control what he can ( even where it is unnecessay or een none of his business ) to compensate for what he wants to control and cannot.
Sounds like you are giving him too much power, in assuming that his critical behaviopur is about you and some asumed lacks in you, rather than due to his own deficiencies. Maybe you are a bit too sensitive, and he is rather too little sensitive. Relationship counselling is the best format in which to explore and re-arrange such imblances.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Michelle | 2010/05/01

Thanks so much for this. The fact that you respond and that a person can contact you on this forum is very beneficial. I will consider what you say and perhaps reassess how I have been responding.Very important as you have suggested might be that I am giving him too much power. I would never have considered an insecurity on his part as he is so self assured. But we are all human.

Kindest regards.

Reply to Michelle
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/01

Either or both might be true. But i is not overly sensitive to expect people to treat each other with respect. The sort of over-controlling behaviour you describe usually stems from low self-esteem on hi side, and a need to control what he can ( even where it is unnecessay or een none of his business ) to compensate for what he wants to control and cannot.
Sounds like you are giving him too much power, in assuming that his critical behaviopur is about you and some asumed lacks in you, rather than due to his own deficiencies. Maybe you are a bit too sensitive, and he is rather too little sensitive. Relationship counselling is the best format in which to explore and re-arrange such imblances.

Reply to cybershrink

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