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Question
Posted by: Curious | 2010/09/05

Relationships taming over time

Could you please tell me if its just me or is it the " standard"  norm that all relationships tame and go lame over time? is it the same with all people over the spectrum of life that they start off relationships (or marriage) with a hell of a spark en zest and only to end up years later being just content with each other and going from day to day being decent, kind, trusting, faithful, etc but the same spark and magic which was there years ago has just vanished. Why oh why does this happen? is it just the way of life and what can you do if you indeed realize that this is the case but as much as you wanna do something (anything) to get it back to the way it was your partner is just to non-committal and not interested and doesn''t think anything to be wrong. Do you just accept this and be grateful for the nice you actually have and the moments (even if far en few between) that caring is still felt?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its not he standard nor inevitable. Some people, men maybe more so, tend to settle in to a comfortable and undemanding relationship, the way some of us wear ugly old shoes because they are comfortable. Marriage counselling could help, if he isn't too complacent and lazy to bother to try this route with you

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Our users say:
Posted by: BB | 2010/09/06

Hi
I am in the same boat as you. I have been with my b/f for 7 years now and it was fantastic in the beginning but now there is no romance and spark anymore and I asked him one day WHY? His answer was and I quote '' THAT WAS IN THE BEGINNING'' so I said to him why does it only have to be in the beginning cos for a relationship to survive you need to work hard at it and keep the spark alive and he said he doesn''t know. Nothing ever changes. So I really do understand what you are going through.

Reply to BB
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/06

Its not he standard nor inevitable. Some people, men maybe more so, tend to settle in to a comfortable and undemanding relationship, the way some of us wear ugly old shoes because they are comfortable. Marriage counselling could help, if he isn't too complacent and lazy to bother to try this route with you

Reply to cybershrink

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