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Question
Posted by: Anon1 | 2010/09/03

Relationships ref:1222

Dear Cyber Doc,
Thank you very much for your response. I almost want to say getting involved with a married man was not worrying to me at that point because I thought it would all just vanish once I''''m out of the clinic. Unfortunately I was wrong. The relationship was nothing sexual at first but intense and very draining emotionally. I gave him attention because I knew that he was suicidal and I thought I could help by just listening to him. I knew I had to tell him that i''''m not interested in a platonic relationship because I was emotionally unstable to be in any relationship but I didn''''t do it I was too weak. I was fighting my own battles which was very serious being raped by my ex and also having to deal with threats that he would kill me. It was very taxing on my spirit. The married man in a bizarre way I thought understands and because of our abusive backgrounds we could be supportive to each other. I was very wrong in my way of thinking and yet I feel sad because I cannot help him or myself for that matter. Things got out of control when we left the clinic. He asked me for pictures of myself every day. He wanted naked pictures and with undies and sex talk. The fantasies from both of us were put in text messages. It became scary and yet I entertained it. It was obvious to me that he wants to have an intimate relationship which I wasn''''t ready for. He wanted to hear my voice every single day and he wanted me to promise that I''''m never gona leave him. It is all crazy but i''''ve made these promises half heartedly. I told my family about this man and I think that they all fed-up with me getting involved with these type of guys. I''''m very worried because somehow I am drawn to them. I''''ve gone for therapy before and still have a lot to deal with. I''''ve been trying to cope for a while now and my therapist schedule is so tight and never has a convient time slot for me. I''''ve managed to jot down some of my feelings in a note book and it helps. I wouldn''''t want these kind of relationships to repeat again in my life. Thank you!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If a relationship is an actual relationship, then it really doesn't "vanish" does it ? Shrinks often forget to mention it, but should probably advise folks that relationships begun while in hospital, like all relationships begun when either or both of you are extra vulnerable, are not a good idea. And your experiences demonstrate this clearly.
Dicussing this relationship should be an urgent priority to discuss with your own therapist and psychiatrist. Keeping notes of this in your journal can inded be helpful.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/03

If a relationship is an actual relationship, then it really doesn't "vanish" does it ? Shrinks often forget to mention it, but should probably advise folks that relationships begun while in hospital, like all relationships begun when either or both of you are extra vulnerable, are not a good idea. And your experiences demonstrate this clearly.
Dicussing this relationship should be an urgent priority to discuss with your own therapist and psychiatrist. Keeping notes of this in your journal can inded be helpful.

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