Posted by: Guilty or not | 2009-02-18

Relationships - am I just being stupid

On Monday after work we went to the beach for a while, we bumped into a girl (who pisses me off - from the past). So my immediate thought was " oh so this is why you come to the beach all the time"  anyway the next day (yesterday) he comes home early and says lets go to the beach - now I had started cooking already - so I could not go - I was so angry - it felt like he had done this on purpose so he could go down to the beach with our boys without me because this woman was there - cause he had phoned our son first but not me - so I just said sorry I cant go but I wasn' t told about it. Is this just in my mind or what?????

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Our expert says:
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Is this interest in going to the beach a new thing, someting he had never done with the boys before bumping into the other woman ? Or have you been sensitized and bothered by this otherwise innocent activity by encountering her ? I don't know how long your cooking would take, but couldn't the beach visit, if necessary at all, have been switched to after the meal, so you COULD go along, too ?
Sounds like you may have a problem with low self-esteem and sel-confidence, and some personal counselling to boost those aspects of yourself could help you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Just asking | 2009-02-18

Has your hubby given ANY indication in the past that he is available for an affair ? I seem to sense that you are unhappy because you suspect him possibly based on previous behaviour ? The other woman on beach, why does she tick you off ? Was she his friend at some stage ? I think you must not spoil a good relationship based on a suspicion that has no grounds. Tell him how you feel and why.

Reply to Just asking
Posted by: Liz | 2009-02-18

Just assuming things can be a danger for the relationship and can send out the wrong and negative vibes to your guy, which will make you guys end up fighting over something that could not even exist. Maybe you must check your inner self and see if you are an insecure person, which will make you assume and see things that really does not exist. If you know you are not insecure then maybe you must have a open talk with your guy in a subtle way. Getting angry at him and accusing him of something you aren' t even 100% sure about, can drift him away and make things complicated. Try to focus on your relationship rather that focussing on other people and woman. Make the relationship interesting and remember: if a guy sense that his partner doesnt trust him, then he will withdraw because men in general need their woman to trust them just like us woman needs our guy to care for us and show affection. Being insecure and making a real drama out of something that' s not really a big deal (if its not true) is like men repellant!

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