Our expert says:
Grief after a turbulent relationship is often more complex and difficult to handle than after an entirely loving relationship. It sounds as though she has not properly worked through her grief ( does she actually find other people who'd want to attend a memorial function for her late husband ? ) By 3 years one would ordinarily at least have moved beyond this point - to have a quite and thoughtful day for oneself, maybe visit a grave, and so on, is perfectly normal. But to think of formal functions and involving others is rather over the top.
Maybe a couple of sessions for both of you, with a counsellor familiar with grief, would help you to understand her better, and help her to move on, not to forget her husband, but to remember him with less pain
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